Crap, I Got Tomato Stains on These Letters, Dammit
by Cancerous Galaxy
Summary: Inspired by Team Rebel's Draw a Rectangle, That's a Letter. Yep. Another letter story. Send in your letters! Yaoi allowed! XD *poking fun at Ivan's dislike of Yaoi with this* Rated because it's Romano, and we all know how he gets...
1. Chapter 1

Hey, I've never written for this series before, so, but if I didn't start this soon, Ivan was gonna kill me… T ^ T. She writes "Draw a Rectangle, That's a Letter" (Lithunania) so send a letter in. Please. She's scary as hell!

Why am I doing this…? Oh yeah, Lithuania asked me to under threat from that creepy girl he's working with… *shudders* Anyway, send in your letters, bastards. I'll answer them, I guess. Maybe. Depends upon if I like you or not. Which means wino, the potatoes, and tomato bastard, don't expect much should you send a letter in.

If you couldn't tell, from the, oh so lovely, introduction chapter, I'm doing Romano's Letters to the world. But, the title was probably a big hint, too. Anyway, ignore Romano saying that he might not respond; he will. I'll make sure of it. Crap, I feel kinda nervous writing for something as great as Hetalia… Ugh… I need a tomato, dammit…


	2. Canada I

**First letter to be done! **

**Forgot to add this first chapter, but I don't own APH, or this idea. In fact, I wouldn't even be doing it if my Russia wasn't so freakin scary! ((((T^T))))**

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Dear Romano,

How do I get people to notice me? Today my brother took me to the zoo-please don't ask why-and while I was waiting in line to buy lunch, he disappeared! I spent the rest of the day looking for him and finally found him heading for the exit with some 80-year-old lady who he claims he thought was me! Maple! What should I do to get recognized?

Sincerely,

Canada. It's Canada, damn it! T A T

Dear Canada,

Wow, an 80 year old lady? That's just... Let me guess, you're burger bastard's brother, right? Figures he'd pull something as retarded as that. No offense to you, but he's an idiot. Anyway, have you tried being being more... Canada-ish? People might also not notice you if the clothes you wear blend in too much. On another note, do you even come to world meetings...?

Signed,

Romano

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**Me: And it's up! I've still got three other letters to do, and I'm really excited about this; thanks for sending this letter in, um... Crap, I forgot your username... Don't hurt me for it, dammit! By the way, you can send in multiple letters that continue from your last one, as a sort of response to Romano's reply.**

**Romano: Send a letter in, dammit!**


	3. Croatia I

**Second chapter~ Still don't own it, so leave me alone, you damn lawyers!**

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Dear Romano,

I need your help..really bad. Umm.. you see the other day I was out shopping for clothes when I ran into France...in the Womans Departmenr.. he was checking out diffrent Bra's.. Don't ask me why Im just stating what I saw. I was going to leave but then the Fucker saw me. He walked up to me and started flirting like the freaking horny dog he is. I ignored him and went towards the escalators, but because someone just HATES me in heaven he followed me down! Pfft, here comes the worse part, he said " Ah, Cassandra why didn't you stay in the Women Department? I had found the perfect Bra for your chest~ " Then that asswipe grouped my boobs. FUCKING GROUPED MY BOOBS!

So I did everyone a favor and pushed the perv off the escalator and ran for it. Next World Meeting I go to and I found out that he has a broken leg. Crap, I actually feel guilty for that freaking perv... what the hell do I do.

Sincerely,

The country representative of Croatia AKA Cassandra Sinclair

P.S I hope you like the enclosed Tomatoes, that stuff is pretty much your crack.

Dear Croatia,

You definitely shouldn't feel guilty about what you did. You should win a freaking **_Nobel Prize_** for that. I say go back and kick his ass more after reporting him for sexual assault and harrassment. But, that's just me, and I hate the wino bastard so very much. In fact, if he wasn't one of Anto-Spa-**Tomato bastard's** friends, I'd place a hit on him and kill it myself. Yes, it. Because France doesn't deserve to be called anything else.

Anyway, he'll be fine, unfortunately. But, if you still feel bad you could, I dunno, tell brow bastard to go visit him. Then France'll molest him for a while and leave the rest of the world the fuck alone.

Signed,

Romano aka Lovino Vargas

P.S I like them a lot, thanks. ; ) And they're close enough, aren't they?

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**Anyway, thanks to Wammy for sending this in. This one was really fun to write; got to let my inner Romano shine through a lot more with this one.**

**Romano: Freakin Wine bastard needs to be castrated...**


	4. America I

**Third chapter, and this is from my good friend, chibi-excel. If you like Spamano, check out her work!**

**Still don't own.**

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Yo Romano!

Hey there, dude! So, as a hero I don't really need alot of help with stuff, helping is my job! Buuut there is this SLIGHT problem I've been having...Iggy keeps getting upset with me when I visit! I don't DO anything wrong! HE invites me over and I play video games! He's sitting with me while I do this so I don't see the big deal! But...it's upsetting him...and I don't like seeing Iggy upset...so...AS A HERO...I must fix this...

Your Hero,

America

P.S.: My brother has been wearing some pretty weird clothes lately, too. He said it was your idea...

Dear Idiot,

Listen to me closely. You. Are. A. **MORON**. Did brow bastard drop you on your head as a child? When someone invites you over to their home, you don't play video games while they do nothing, you retard! God, you're so-! Have you actually tried _talking_ to him during your visits instead of sitting there glued to your stupid game? Offered to let him play? Thought of him instead of yourself for once? No? There's your Goddamn problem! How England puts up with you, or _why_ he does is a mystery to me...

Signed,

Romano

P.S. I said for him to try to stand out more. How was I supposed to know he'd pick weird clothes? And by the way, you are not my hero. Never have been, never will be.

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**So, third letter done. Care to give me feedback? Send a letter? It can even be anonymous; I really don't care. I just don't want this thing to die before it even got a chance to start...**


	5. Prussia I

**This is from HakuDei, who RPs Prussia in two seperate Guilds I'm in. ... Unfortunately. *dodges sharp objects thrown by Dei***

**Really? Do you have to keep asking? Me no own, you no fucking sue, got it?**

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Dear Romano,

I know you've heard one side of this story, but here's what really happened.

So the other day, me and Russia were playing poker. It was a good game before

that FUCKER CHEATED. So here, he takes my money/lunch/cards/CD and I had to

buy him icecream. It was crazy. So I decided, hey, why don't I sneak over to

Russia's stuff while he's sleeping and at least take my money back since he

cheated and whatever. So I do exactly that. Unfortunately, I didn't wander as

quietly as what I'd hoped into the bear's den and woke him up. So here I am

facing a sleepy, grouchy Russia who just caught me taking money. So long story

short, after a lot of screaming, yelling, running, beating, crying, and all in

all pain, my chest looks like I got mauled. Why my chest? Who knows. All I

know is that, it's not looking too awesome at the moment. I'm like...oozing

blood and some sort of acid.. So, I figured that since you're probably an

expert on fixing your wounds whether it was for yourself or your brother, I

figured you could help me in telling me what could do to clear it up. If you

don't know, then ask Italy-chan. He'll help me.

Since-fucking-serely,

THE AWESOME PRUSSIA

Dear not as awesome as he thinks,

You're suicidal, aren't you? Trying to steal from _Russia_ of all nations? You're crazy!

Anyway, first, you might want to clean off the blood and whatever the hell else is oozing from your chest with warm water and a soft washcloth so you don't agitate it more than it already is. Ugh... That's a pleasant image... Next, grab a thing of disinfectant and some cotton balls to put it on. Rubbing alcohol should work, or you could use Vodka, pfft... So, disinfecting the wounds, get clean medical bandages and wrap it around your chest tight enough that it won't slip and will keep it covered, but not so tight that it hurts. Change the bandages and clean it again every day before you go to bed and when you wake up. The best thing to do would be to keep it clean. You might also want to go see a professional if it starts turning weird colors or gets worse. Just a suggestion.

Signed,

Romano

P.S. Seriously, you're fucking suicidal. I don't know how you're not dead yet...

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**Ok, hope this helps, HakuDei. Seriously though, if it turns weird colors, call a doctor.**


	6. Rhode Island I

**This is from GillyflowerCalfuray. Thanks for sending a letter!**

**Discalimer: Pfft, I wish...**

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Dear Signore Romano,

what is it like to be an actual country? Does power ever go to your head?

I'm tiny, you see. One of Alfred's many states.

People either pick on me, ignore me, or mistake me for one of my siblings. How can I get them to recognize me without resorting to physical violence? (Cos I've tried, and it didn't work...)

Awaiting your help with hope,

Rachael Williams-Jones

The State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations

(P.S.—I've included with my letter some of the pizza I like making. Is it good? It's better than any of the commercially-available stuff, that's for sure, but I thought I'd ask the expert.)

Dear Rachael,

Sounds like you've got the same problem as that, um... What was his name again...? Oh yeah, Canada, right?

Violence probably won't work too well if you're small. But, what are some things that Rhode Island's famous for? You could try using those to make yourslf stand out some. Just... Don't tell Alfred who gave you that advice if he bitches at you about whatever you do.

Paperwork. Lots and lots of paperwork. And then there's the meetings, and having to deal with the other nations as well... It's stressful. And no, not really. Nations are always trying to put the welfare of their people first; the ones that have power go to their heads are our bosses. Unfortunately, they just make things so much harder for us most of the time when that happens...

Signed,

Romano

P.S. Yeah, it's pretty good. Way better than what America tries to pass off as pizza, that's for sure...

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**So, yeah, thanks again for sending in a letter. Leave review if you want Romano to respond!**


	7. Lithuania I

**Finally got yours up, Ivan! And yes. Yes I did have to poke fun at your Yaoi hating-ness.**

**Disclaimer: Do you really think I'd be writing fanfiction if I owned Hetalia? If you do, you're an idiot.**

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Sveiki, Romano!

How are you? I'm doing well, but I need a bit of advice. There's this girl I like, you see, and... she doesn't like me. I wish she did, though! She is the most beautiful creature that ever drew breath. I've heard you're quite the ladies man! Can you help me?

Pagarbiai,

Toris Laurinaitis

Ciao, Toris,

You're talking about Russia's crazy little sister right? Belarus? Didn't she break your leg once as a kid?

Anyway, I think the best thing you can do is hope that she finally gets that Russia doesn't feel the same way. Although, considering how long she's been after him, I doubt that'll happen soon, if at all. The only way she'll go after you is if you somehow become better in her eyes than Russia. Yeah, good luck with that.

Signed,

Romano

**

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This one was really short, wasn't it...? *shrugs* Oh well.**


	8. Poland I

**This one's from VodkaKolKolKol. Thanks for sending a letter!**

**Disclaimer: No. Not at all. Although, I DO own the fanart I did of Swissy receiving a dress from France! Just gotta scan it…**

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Dear... Romano?

Yeah, like, that's your name right? Anyway, I have a problem... See, like, there is this EPIC friend who is with this guy right? See, the two of them have been together, like, forever... And it's making me mad cause his bf is a total D-bag! He never smiles! What I need to know is how i can get my friend back with gpng to, like, prison for life.

Felicks

Dear Felicks,

Yes, that's my nation name. But, I'm a bit confused here. So what if he never smiles? If he makes your friend happy, then you should be happy for him as well. But, if you still want to get your friend back… Try explaining how you feel to him. It's less likely that your friend will want to smash your face in than in if you do something retarded to try and get them to break up, and you probably won't go to prison unless you somehow fuck that up.

By the way, get a spell check and proofread your letter next time, thanks.

Signed,

Romano

P.S. Reading your letter made me want to bash my skull in. Like, totally. *poking fun at you*

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**Pfft, I love making fun of Poland's speech pattern... Thanks for sending the letter! And I've seen you on Ivan's letter story. But, do you guys think you could send a letter to Acadia? It's another letter story from Team Rebel. She's threatening me to say this. *laughs and edges away from Ivan***

**Romano: Review.**


	9. America II

**Another letter from chibi-excel. Thanks, chibi! *feels like she's talking to one of her friends at school with that***

**Disclaimer: Oh, I wish…**

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'SUP ROMANNOOOOO!

So, I tried your idea. I offered him to play with me! Then his face got all red! He wouldn't even look at me and was stuttering! I think he was angry still. WHAT DID I DOOOO! I even brought him some of his bitter-ass tea to drink! I DID ALL THIS STUFF FOR HIM AND NOW HE WON'T EVEN LOOK ME IN THE EYES! I EVEN TRIED TALKING TO HIIIMMMM! A HERO SHOULD NOT HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS, DUDE!

Your hero-oh no wait-that's SPAIN! SUCK ON THAT YOU TOMATO LOVER!XD

Your runner-up hero,

America

P.S. IGGY NEVER DROPPED ME ON THE HEAD!

Dear really oblivious idiot,

OMGSTFU! He's not my hero! J-just because he saved me from Turkey and France when I was kid doesn't mean anything at all, you burger chomping bastard! Chigi! -/-# ... Even if he still saves me from France today. Shut up.

A-anyway, he's probably just surprised that you actually thought about what he might like for once. I mean, you don't exactly do that sort of thing often, do you? He's not angry with you, you dolt. Though, the tea was a nice touch; I didn't even think of that. Maybe you do have a brain in there after there… … Nah, probably not.

The reason he won't look at you is because he's embarrassed. Just keep doing what you're doing and showing him that you care in your own, weird, freaky American way.

Signed,

Romano

P.S. Alright, so you're just naturally retarded then. And do you ever call England by his human name?

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**Seriously, I find it hard to believe that England never dropped America on the head as a kid. And, I'm kinda updating at school, pfft... Really should be working on my project. But I dun wanna, so you guys get this and the previous chapter instead! XD **

**Romano: See the button at the botton of the screen that says 'Review'? Click it.**


	10. Rhode Island II

**Wow, tenth chapter already… This is from GillyflowerCalfuray. Just a question, though. Do you guys think every now and then I should add an omake chapter or something? I kinda wanna write a one-shot for this fandom, but I don't really have that many good ideas…**

**Disclaimer: Nope~**

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Dear Signore Romano,

Yikes, that's true. Our last names are almost the same, too... although I named myself after my founder, Roger Williams. Dad insisted that I take the Jones part after he forced me to become part of America by threatening to make me independant and make me pay these outrageous taxes. And all I wanted was one little bill of rights! How hard could that be?

I may be small, but I've got enough spirit to fuel a continent! Without me, there would be no such thing as coffee milk (delicious) or Del's Frozen Lemonade (even more delicious)! I have my own breed of chicken too, the Rhode Island Red. They lay brown eggs, which everyone knows are better than white. Cos brown eggs are local eggs, and local eggs are fresh~! (Don't worry about me telling Dad—he doesn't talk to me much.

He hasn't really even helped me dig out from the almost three feet of snow I've collected over the past two weeks. I'll be frozen until June at this rate...)

It actually looks to me like dealing with other nations could be fun. I'd love to get a break from all my siblings. Get out and see the world, ya know? I speak four languages, one of which is Italian. Would I ever be welcomed at your house?

Now, have you ever tried telling your boss that they need to calm down? You are the mouthpiece for your people, after all. You are the one to talk to your boss for them.

With Hope,

Rachael Williams-Jones

The State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations

P.S.—Thanks! It's all thanks to my Italian heritage. I've tried teaching Dad how to cook like me, but darned Grandpa Arthur ruined his palate LONG ago.

Dear Rachael,

Your dad's kinda a hypocrite, isn't he? Wasn't one of the reasons he wanted independence because of the taxes from brow bastard?

And three feet of snow, huh? Maybe you could try calling him to help about that. Then again, a bunch of your siblings are having the same problem, too, huh? And I might have to try some of that coffee milk one day.

Yeah, siblings are a pain in the ass, aren't they? But, you've got 49, while I only have 2. Jeez, I feel really bad for you right now… And while sometimes it can be fun, most of the time it's just annoying as fuck. Anyway, of course you'd be welcome at my house; you sound like you need a break. Plus, the food over here? So much better…

Yeah, I've tried, but he won't listen to me! Actually, he barely ever talks to me unless there's a problem with the mafia or something… He prefers to let Feli take care of things. Bastard.

Signed,

Romano

P.S. I'm just glad that England didn't get to most of America's kids… And, that comment about brow bastard made me laugh a little. Pfft, Grandpa Arthur… Does he know you call him that?

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**Thanks for the letter, Gilly! And jeez, the snow's crazy, isn't it?**


	11. Croatia II

**This is from Wammyboysfangurl321. Thanks for sending a letter in; this one was really fun to write. ^_^**

**Disclaimer: *sighs* How many times do I have to tell you? Me no own, you no sue, dammit!**

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Pfft, I should turn to you each time I'm having trouble because..

1.) Your the most sane person in Europe (that I know of)

2.) You actually think like me.. Hurt first, Questions later.

3.) Your Hot. Im sorry but leaving that out would be a fucking crime. Toni is veryyyyyyyyyy lucky.

Word of advice, Karma's a bitch...that or someone in heaven fucking hates me. Remember how I pushed Francis's bitchass of the escalators? Well, When I was walking up the stairs for the World Meeting (there's no way in fucking hell I was going on the elevator alone with Russia..the fucking creep.)

Turkey "accidently" tripped me. That asshole...Im sure that was no accident! He was just standing there and his foot just so happend to have a "muscle spasm" when I passed? BULL SHIT. And to me! A girl! He must still hold a grudge on me from the Ottoman wars. Now I can't go anywhere cause I twisted my ankle when I rolled down the staircase. Im contemplating on either cutting off his "Vital Regions" and shoving it down his throat or just to tell Belarus that he was planning on invading Russia's vital regions. Hmm... maybe both? Or I could just hire you as a hitman... hmm so many choices..

Sincerely,

The representative of Croatia, AKA Cassandra Sinclair

P.S

I sent you more tomatoes..ughh. How can you eat them straight like that? I tried that and the juice ran down from my mouth and into my shirt... oh god that sounded wrong Fuckkk... Ignore that last bit.

Heh, thanks for the compliments.

A-and what do you mean, Anto-**Spain's **lucky? I-it's not like we're together or anything! Wh-why would you even think that? DX

Yeah, I remember how you did that. And I don't blame you for the elevator thing, either. Russia… Really freaks me out. Besides, Belarus probably would've tried to knife you had she found out you were alone with him.

Ugh, that asshole! Next time I see him, I'm breaking his nose. You don't do that to a lady, you just don't! I like the Belarus one. Just, say that you heard a rumor he was going to, so that if questions arise, you can say that you honestly didn't know what would happen and just thought it was something she should know. How good at you at acting innocent and free of guilt? Not that you should feel guilty for that.

Always use a napkin. Also, it's easier if you cut it up a bit first; the only reason I know how to eat them like that without making a mess of myself is because I eat them all the time. Anyway, thanks for the tomatoes. Hm… Spring's coming up, which means we'll be planting soon.

Signed,

Romano

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**Ah, Romano... Still in denial. But, the funny thing is that my Russia's actually making me do this, pfft... We get along really well; be sure to drop by some of her stories if you've got time. Her screen name's Team Rebel.**

**Review, please?**


	12. Canada II

**This was from LiliandRayray. I actually remembered this time. Yeah, um… Sorry about forgetting your username the first time.**

**Disclaimer: No, but I can dream, right?**

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Dear Romano,

I've tried so many things already! There was the maple leaf sticker on my forehead...but then my brother destroyed that. I tried to speak up at world meetings, but somehow I always get overshadowed. And yes I DO come to world meetings, even if it's only to play the part of a cushion...Remember the time your brother found the "chair that magically made him as tall as Doitsu"? Well, guess who was already in it?

Maple... it's just not worth it anymore. Nothing short of me getting drunk on fermented maple syrup and climbing the CN Tower with a screaming Michaelle Jean in my arms while being circled by police helicopters will make people notice me... Wait, that might actually be crazy enough to work! Wish me luck, Romano! D:

About to make the whole world acknowledge him,

Canada

P.S.: Thank you for replying to the first letter. Enclosed are some heirloom tomato seeds. I hear they grow better than that new GE junk sweeping through my country and America's. Don't ever let your boss say yes to genetically modified food!

Dear Canada,

I'll have t look for you at the next meeting then. And yeah, I remember that incident. Feliciano was ecstatic until he stood up.

… Wait, what? You lost me there. You do realize that not only is that impossible to do, but if you did somehow accomplish it, you'd be put in prison for kidnapping or disturbing the public peace or whatever the hell it would be. Basically, it's illegal, and not the kind of recognition you'd want.

Signed,

Romano

P.S. Duly noted.

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**Thanks for sending another letter in! Jeez, this is way more popular than my other two stories... Neither of them are Hetalia, though. ""orz**


	13. Rhode Island III

**This one's from GillyflowerCalufray. Thanks for sending another in!**

**Disclaimer: How many times do I have to say this? No owning of Hetalia here!**

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Dear Signore Romano,

He actually can be hypocritical at times. He says that he wouldn't dare be anything like Arthur, but he's more like Arthur than he realizes.

Yes, three feet-and counting! We're getting more as I'm writing this! The whole country is running out of stuff to deal with it. There's no sand, no road salt, nothing. Mother Nature seriously has a grude against us. It's been so cold, Dad has one heck of a flu. We've all got the sniffles. Good thing Conneticut makes really good chicken soup. And I'll send you a carton of coffee milk.

OH yes, they're a pain. They're always yelling at each other about something or another. (And it just gets worse around big sporting events. Sibling rivalry has nothing on us.) I would love to come to your house, thanks. Especially if it's warm, I'm so there.

Maybe you should ask Feliciano to talk to him. Feli would do anything for you, right? And I'm sure he'd like to share what's going on with you. Be glad that you're got such a nice brother.

With Love and Hope,

Rachael Williams-Jones

The State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations

P.S.-He actually does know! We're on pretty good terms right now. He can actually be a doting grandparent when he feels like it. (It's probably just cos I'm little and cute.) And cos I cook for him. I learned long ago to refuse whatever he makes me and to replace it with something I made

Dear Rachael,

Heh, I'm not surprised there. After all, you're gonna pick up some of the habits and mannerisms of the person that raised you.

Thanks for the coffee milk, and hopefully the weather clears up some. I heard that for a while, only Florida didn't have snow on the ground. And my home's probably warmer than yours; you're welcome to stop by. But, sporting events...? You mean how you guys have tournaments for different sports with teams from each of your homes? Crap, remind me to never visit when one of those is going on.

Yeah, yeah, I hear ya. Nice, but bothersome.

Signed,

Romano

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**Yeah, so, couldn't think of much for this one. Anyway, keep sending Romano your letters!**


	14. Isabella I

**Um... This one was kinda random, actually. XD**

**Disclaimer: ""orz**

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dear lovi,

oh crap i killed my moms boyfriend! where the frick do i hide the body?

love

isabella

First off, please don't call me "Lovi". There's only one person that gets to call me that, two of you count my brother. And another thing, you really think you should be telling me that? Because, as much as I'd love to help you, I don't particularly like the idea of being an accessory to murder. It's not fun.

But, here's a question. Was the killing an accident?

Signed,

Romano

P.S. What was with the "love" at the end?

**

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I was tempted to have Romano give advice on how to dispose of the body, but then I though, "Wait, I shouldn't be giving some of the people reading this ideas, should I?"**


	15. Spain I

**Oh, jeez... We've got a Spain sending in letters. Lord help you, Romano.**

**Disclaimer: No and no.**

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Hola mi Tomate!

How's mi lacayo pequeños doing? I hope you are well~

Ahh, it gets very lonely without you here, you know!

When will you be visiting next? I'll be sure to make you lots of churros, perhaps maybe you and I can pick some tomatoes aswell~!

You'd like that, wouldn't you?

Ohh, and mi tomate, you'll be wondering why this letter came with a parcel, sí?

Well, you know those good old days, when I was still Boss Spain, ahh, well, I got you an adorable dress! Like the one you wore! It's almost as red of those cheeks of yours~

Hopefully it fits~! Fusososososo!

I shall end the letter at that, but be sure to tell me when you'll be here next~ I'll be expecting you!

Amor eterno,

España ~

P.S France sent me pictures of you sleeping, you look so cute~

Next time you're over, I'll show you them, okay?

Ciao, bastardo.

... I'm so burning that package now... Why the hell would you send me a dress of all things? Idiot! You're lucky if I even show up for your birthday now! N-not that I remembered when it was, which I definitely didn't!

Lacayo... What? I don't speak idiot, idiot. Try either Italian or English next time.

H-holy crap... Wait, he has pictures of me, so that means... DAMMIT! Spain, keep your creepy friends out of my house! Who knows what that bastard did to me while I was sleeping! If you care at all, you'll tell France to stay away from me! He's gonna try and rape me one of these days, just you watch! Hell, he's tried doing it to England plenty of times, and I'm not as strong or used to dealing with that sick fuck as he is!

Hoping he doesn't get molested by the freaky Frenchman in his sleep,

Romano

P.S. I, um... I-I included a package with the letter. It's your gift. F-for your birthday. But it doesn't mean anything!

**

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This was from MsKatsuten. Thanks for the letter!**


	16. Ireland I

**This letter's from Mahboisdinner. Thanks for sending it in!**

**Disclaimer: Why do you have to keep making me say it?**

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Dear Romano

How's it going Romano, Ireland here. Got a bit of trouble, you see America keeps on coming up to my house and trying to get me to show him his roots. I'd do it, except it's hard enough to do it at 4 in the f*$king morning and you have a meeting in the morning. Also he's harassing my leprachaun friend Paddy, althought Paddy is evil and i kinda hate him anyway.

So if you could help like... thanks

Ireland (Maebh Barry Murphy)

Dear Ireland,

Ugh, America's bothering you, too? Somebody needs to whack him upside the head or something and hope the message gets through that thick skull of his… Anyway, I'll talk to him next time I hear from him, and if that doesn't work… You could always get a security system to kick the idiot's ass if he keeps it up.

A… Frigging Leprechaun. … No comment.

Signed,

Romano

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**I've really got nothing to say about this one. Review?**


	17. Florida I

**This was from Florida Tiffany in an anon review. I actually had to do research about this one for Romano's reply… DX**

**Disclaimer: Uh… *hangs head***

* * *

Dear Lovi,

So I heard from Dad(America) that you've started giving advice to those who ask for help, si? Pues, I have a slight issue that I really want to finally put to rest.

You see...I have this..issue..with this one spanish fellow. Cuando I was a small girl, este el hombre dije era mi padre. Pues, he wore the funniest of outfits and had this GIANT axe - but what was really weird was that he was smilling and so cheerful for some reason. Like, all the time. It was nice for a while, he would visit and give me some tomatos, while his people and my people gave him what he wanted.

Pero, then all of a sudden he gives me up. Like a sack of...potatos.

I know its been years ago, but he was like mi padre - and no matter what, I still consider him as a Dad.

So here's my question to you;

How do I get the perfect revenge of tomato bastards that estrange themselves away from their own children?

I mean, what kind of man does that?

He didn't even say goodbye.

Currently drowning herself in tomato soup and cola,

The State of Florida

P.S. - I don't really have tomatos, but I hope paella will work.

P.S.S. - Are you sure you're giving Dad the right advice? He tells me that he's trying to be a Hero~ for Pops (England), yanno be an actual friend and all, but it looks like he's trying to flirt with him or somethin.

Dear Florida,

You mean Spain, don't you? I… Know he's an idiot, but he wouldn't give you up for no reason. It's just not in his character. Look… I was still under his control when this happened, so I know why he did it. At the time, the bastard was in a war and desperately needed money. Then, some American general attacks and destroys a fort or something after your dad told him to get rid of it and Spain refused. He didn't want to give you up, but he had to. He was in no position to fight America off, and if he had tried, you probably would've hurt pretty badly and ended up going to burger bastard anyway. Spain really did try to keep you. I'm not saying what he did was right; the idiot should've at least told you what was going on. Ugh… I can't believe I'm actually doing this… Maybe you could, I dunno, call him and ask? He'd probably love to hear from you again. And if nothing else, you could guilt trip him and pretend to cry. That would **kill** him on the inside.

One more thing, though. _Don't_ call me Lovi, even if you were one of that pedo's colonies.

Signed,

Romano

P.S. I'm just telling him to try and act like he actually gives a shit. Not my fault he goes beyond that.

* * *

**Thanks for the review~ Ah, I love snarky Romano... So much fun. Now, if you guys want to see this continue, you need to send in more reviews. Or else, it will die. Just like if you have sex, because you will get clamidia, and** _**die**._** *quoting from Mean Girls, which I also do not own***


	18. Isabella II

**This is from cross-over-lover232. Thanks for the letter! And on another note... _Holy crap_ you guys, 21 reviews in such a short time? *sniffs* I feel so happy... Keep sending them in, dammit! T^T**

**Disclaimer: No, but it'd be nice...**

* * *

dear Mr. Romano

Sorry about the lovi thing i just um paniced. And it was on purpose but i didnt have any choice, i had to do it for my mother! i wasnt about to let that pig of a man keep liveing after i found him with another woman. And in the bed he shared with my mother no less. so since there are no men in our family i took up the duty to clean our home of his back stabing filth! an itailen shall suffer no betrayel!

isabella

PS as a patral italen should i not love my own nation?

Dear Isabella,

It's fine, it's fine; just call me Lovino.

Ah, I see where you're coming from... Ok, do you still have the body? First, burn the clothes you were wearing when you commited the act, and the ones that douche is wearing as well. Next, dispose of the weapon you used. The best way to do this would be to destroy it as completely as you can. After that, you could try to dissolve the bone and flesh in the best way I've found, though it's kinda hard to do unless you have the proper materials... Hydrofluoric acid is probably your best choice for trying to dissolve bones. It is a highly toxic and corrosive solution of hydrogen fluoride in water. Gaseous hydrogen fluoride is sometimes called anhydrous hydrofluoric acid.

Hydrofluoric acid is notoriously known to dissolve glass by reacting with SiO2, the major component of most glasses. Consequently, it must be stored in polyethylene or Teflon containers. It is also unique in its ability to dissolve almost all inorganic metal and semimetal oxides. But, whatever you do, **DO NOT** get it on your skin at all costs. Why? Because, when coming in contact with human skin or bone the acid can severely burn and then decompose the bone, potentially necessitating amputation of the affected limb/s. So, yeah, be careful. Also, don't go online at your home to find ways to dispose of the body; they'll search your computer's history and find out exactly what you've been looking at. You might also want to get your alibi straight in case they pin you as a suspect at some point.

Hope this helps,

Romano

* * *

**I really hope that I made the right decision in posting the explanation on this... ^-^;;; Yes, I did a crap ton of research, thank you.**

**But, just to reassure myself, there's no one out there that actually DID kill someone and is reading this, right? Right? ""orz**


	19. Spain II

**Oh my... I feel so loved with all these amazing letters... Is it bad that I nearly had a heart attack after seeing that I've got over 800 hits within two days? |D**

**Disclaimer: Nu-uh. Not even Iggy's magic could make it so, I'll bet.**

* * *

Hola, mi amor~

Loviiiiii~ Don't burn my dear dress, it costed so much! Plus I want to see it on you, I'm sure you would so cute~

Have you tried it on yet? Does it fit? Please tell Boss!

Oh! Lacayo means lackey! Ah, Lovi, you should've payed attention when I taught you Spanish! Then I wouldn't have to tell you..

Oh well! I'll be sure to speak Italian when you come over~

France wouldn't rape you, Lovi! He's a nice friend!

Even if he were to, I wouldn't let that happen! Boss cares too much about his amor~

Although, I must admit the pictures are so so so so cute! Ahhh~

Anyway! How has life been for you? Do you miss me, Lovi? I can imagine you reading this and blushing! Aha, I know mi Lovi so well!

Boss is busy so he will finish this letter off. Please be sure to come over on mi birthday~ I'd rather spend it with you than have a party~

Amor por siempre,

España.

P.S Oh, sí! Gracias, mi dulce de tomate! I will be sure to open it on mi birthday! Hopefully you will be sitting next to me when I open it~

That is, if you come over, which I'm positive you wont refuse~ Be sure to wear the dress, too!

Te amo, Lovi~ 3 3 3

Holy crap, shut the fuck up, you bastard! Chigi! I'm not your love, I will never wear that thing you call a dress, and I d-definitely do not fucking miss you! A-And I'm not blushing either! You're so damn lucky I saved your stupid Spanish ass from Tiffany! I should've told her to chop off your vitals when I had the chance!

A-and another thing, whoever told you I'd be coming over is a complete and total idiot! Why do you think I mailed your gift to you? So I wouldn't have to go and see you, retard!

B-besides, you shouldn't say things you don't... Don't mean, d-dammit... It gives people the wrong idea about- ... Things.

Hoping that a certain fucker gets impaled in his next bull fight,

Romano

* * *

**Aw... Why so mean, Romano? D:**

**Don't worry, he's just in denial about Spain's feelings. He'll get there. ... Eventually. XD *shot***

**Before I forget, this letter was from MsKasuten. You make a great Spain!**


	20. Rhode Island IV

**This is another from GillyflowerCalfuray. I... Think I got your usename wrong last time... Whoops.**

**Disclaimer: No! Get it through your head, you damn lawyers! Back, back! *kicks at lawyers***

* * *

Dear Signore Romano,

Exactly! I love teasing him about it. He gets so flustered, and it's funny.

I think most places are warmer than my house right now. And we're having our Superbowl soon, which is where our two best American football teams face off, and practically the entire country stops to watch. Texas is holding it at her house this year, so I'd reccomend not visiting during the month of February.

Now, thinking about the Mafia again—there was recently a big bust on them. (Turns out they had gotten into my government! Eek!) Do you have any jurisdiction over the American mafia? Or are they Dad's problem?

With Love and Hope,

Rachael Williams-Jones

The State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations

* * *

Dear Rachael,

Duly noted about not visiting during February.

And, I'm sorry to say, but I've got no control over the mafia over in your place. I wish I could do something, but I really can't... Dammit, I feel so useless. Hopefully America can get it sorted out; I've got my hands full keeping them away from Feliciano.

Hoping you get things cleared up,

Romano

* * *

**Yeah... Coming up with witty disclaimers is getting kinda hard, but it's fun!**

**Sorry about the short reply for this one; not much to work with.**


	21. Lithuania II

**Pfft, this one's from Ivan, who hate Yaoi with a passion, and will probably beat me tomorrow at school if she shows up for putting that. X'D**

**Disclaimer: ... I hate you.**

* * *

Sveiki, Romano...

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD? BELARUS IS ALWAYS JUST RUSSIA'S CRAZY LITTLE SISTER TO EVERYONE! WHY IS THAT? SHE'S BEAUTIFUL, KIND, NICE, AND LOVELY!

AND HE DOESN'T EVEN LOVE HER! HE'S AFRAID OF HER! HE THINKS OF HER AS HIS LITTLE SISTER! WHY WON'T SHE LOVE ME? Romano, is there something wrong with me?

And also, Louisiana's niece set me up with Louisiana. Mexico said she's sending me a machete! Any advice for my date? I want to get out alive!

Pagarbiai,

Toris Laurinaitis

* * *

Ciao, Toris,

Oh so many things... Too many to list, actually. You as a nation should know this better than most.

And, uh... Maybe it's because you're just a tad bit obsessive...? You pretty much just yelled at me through a letter before switching back to being all meek and crap again.

Ooh... I remember Louisiana. Wino and Spain were always fighting over her before America finally got her. One piece of advice: Don't make **ANY** sudden movements. Pretend she's Russia. Yes, she's that crazy, psychotic, and liable to fly off the handle. But damn, her food's good...

Signed,

Romano

* * *

**Hahaha, historically correct info, bitches! XD **

**Ugh... Ivaaaaan. You gave me whatever the fuck you had... I'm coughing like crazy and my throat's killing me... But I'm STILL taking the time to update! Be thankful!**


	22. Florida II

**This is from Florida Tiffany again~**

**Disclaimer: """orz**

* * *

Dear Mama Roma,

Look I stopped calling you Lovi! *cheerful grin*

Thank you for the advice, from how you talk about him, Papa does sound like a really nice guy. I didn't really understand his position, so, I'll call him. His really lucky to have a boyfriend like you to care for him and stand up for him.

Hey Mama Roma? What's your favorite hobby and why? Do you think that a person has the right to pursue what they enjoy?

Is it bad that a person isn't narrow-minded?

The reason why I asked you this, other than wanting to know what your dictum is, is because I'm getting a lot of heat for not having a narrow-mind in school. More specifically, in languages.

I have to take spanish (years of living under Dad and one quickly forgets their native language) and as much as I try, I can't really get interested in it. Pero, is it bad if I want to learn other languages (like Russian, German, Japanese and Italian)?

Dad says that I should just focus on one thing, but it's so hard when I just want to do so much more. The sad thing is, it's not like I can switch out of spanish.

From,

The State of Florida, Tiffany.

P.S. - This time I did include tomatos! :D

P.S.S. - Thanks for the guilt trip idea!

* * *

... You're very lucky you're a girl. Otherwise, I'd be on American soil right now hunting you down to smack you. Alfred's anger be damned! ... He's not gonna read this, right? Fuuuck.

A-and I'm NOT his boyfriend! Why do you people keep saying that, dammit? Why?

*eye twitch* I repeat. Very. Lucky. And my favorite hobby would probably be... Gardening. And it's kinda obvious why I'd like it. Yes I think they do as long as isn't, y'know, illegal.

Not particularly.

... You're serious? America's the freaking melting pot of the Goddamn **world**. Why wouldn't the moron be ecstatic that one of his kids wants to learn a multitude of languages? It'd make things a lot easier for him in the long run if _he_ did.

Thanks for the tomatoes, and you're welcome.

Signed,

Romano

P.S. Wouldn't you technically be my step sister or something like that?

* * *

**Aww... Thanks for the compliment! But really, the sad thing is... I'm just answering as if I were myself... Yep, cursing and all. I'm just nice in my author notes and reviews. ... Sometimes. XD**


	23. Louisiana I

**This is another from Ivan, sending it in as Acadia, aka Louisiana.**

**Disclaimer: Ye-No. Not at all.**

* * *

Bonjour, Monsieur,

Hello. I've read your letters... and don't you DARE put down my Papa. He's a sweet, loving man. He truly is. I love him to death~

Anyway, how are you? I've recently adopted a kid, Savannah. The one that is trying to set me up with that boy, Lithuania? Anyway, two things.

France is coming to visit my house, to meet Savannah and visit moi! So excited, but I'm very nervous. I haven't seen him since that terrible storm rocked my house! I'm so nervous...

Also, apparently my niece has played match-maker. I have to go on a date with that Toris guy. Well, looking over their letters, he seems okay. Any advice?

Veuillez agréer, Monsieur, l'expression de mes sentiments distingués.

Acadia Guillot

~The State of Louisiana~

Dear Acadia,

* * *

Too loving, if you ask me... He tried putting his hands down my pants once. At a **meeting**. I'm surprised he didn't do anything to you...

And I'm doing fine, if you don't count having to deal with an annoying Spaniard, his pissed off kid, and said kid's adopted father. Anyway, good for you.

As for advice with Toris... He scares easy, and is completely head over heels for this crazy chick, Belarus. By the way, Mexico said she's sending him a machete. Please don't make him have to use it; he's liable to have a nervous breakdown if he does.

... What did you just call me?

Currently looking for an online translator,

Romano

* * *

**Seriously, Ivan, I have no clue what you said. *will never take French in her life***

**And you said Spain twice, and forgot Prussia. And Canada. XD**


	24. Italy I

**Oh... My Freaking... God. Twenty eight reviews? Question! Should I give my 40th reviewer a oneshot of their choice? The only genres I can't do are Tragedy, Horror, and Angst. Because if reading those makes me depressed for days on end, imagine what writing them will do? Do you guys want an angsty/depressed female Romano? Do you?**

**Disclaimer: *throws a book at lawyers and grumbles***

* * *

Ciao fratello!

I wanted to try and write a letter to you too! Vee~ you know I haven't thought of anything to write about, what do you think think would be good? I do hope you talk about pasta soon! We can have some soon and invite Doitsu and Big Brother Spain to join us!

Hasta la pasta,

Italy Veneziano

P.S. I used the rest of the pasta at home for when I visited Doitsu, so we need to get more.

* * *

Ciao, fratellino,

If you have nothing to write about, then why are you writing? We live together, stupid. Whatever you put in these letters can be said to my face. And we're not Japanese; quit calling the potato bastard "Doitsu". I swear, it's always, "Doitsu this" and "Doitsu that" with you. Where's your Italian pride?

I can't believe we're related,

Romano

P.S. Why you little-!

* * *

**Thanks for the letter, Dogsrule. Don't worry, you're doing fine as Italy, and thanks for the compliment!**


	25. America III

**This one's from chbi-excel. Thanks for the letter! Jeez, you really enjoy teasing poor Romano, don't you?**

**Disclaimer: Oh, if only, if only...**

* * *

'Sup Romano!

Yo! It's America again! How's it hanging? (You'll most likely say something all moody and pessimistic to this. Pfft. I know you well, huh?) Aaannnyyyways. To my point. I have decided something; I'm going to ask Iggy out on a date. Although, really, with the fact you're still in denial about your OWN boyfriend you arent probably the best to ask this of...but oh well. You're-what does Kiku call it?- Tsundere! Like Iggy. So you should know how he'd like to be asked out. How did spain do it with you?

You-totally-know-Spain's-your-hero...among other

Iggy's Hero,

America

P.S. Why should I call him anything but Iggy? Does Spain call you anything but Lovi? I thought not.

* * *

My question is why the fuck you know me so well. We never hang out. Ever. Which is definitely a good thing...

Wow, America. Took you long enough; I was getting worried that you're just as dense an idiot as Spain. And I'm not in denial about anything; I don't like him that way, dammit! B-but if you really wanna know, try and do something you've never done before. Be. Subtle. Don't have a fucking spaz attack like normal and be all, "Hey Iggy, let's go on a date!1!1one". Have some tact for once in your life.

And Spain's never asked me out, dammit! Why does everyone automatically assume-? Ugh. I need some Advil and Nyquil, desperately. I mean, just because we've gone out to eat a few times doesn't mean that- ... Oh. Well **FUCK**. """orz

Really wants to kill you and himself right now,

Romano

P.S. At least call him Arthur once in a while. I have a feeling hed like it better than your stupid nickname. Or, even Artie would be better. Fricking idiot... Also, stop bugging Ireland, he's getting pissed.

* * *

**Um... Wow, I've got a lot of letters to do now. ^^;;; But that doesn't mean stop sending them in! If someone would send in one as England, that's be great. I kinda wanna how it would go. XD**


	26. Rhode Island V

**Another from GillyflowerCalfuray~ Wow, this is definitely my most popular story. Thanks you guys!**

**Disclaimer: *opens mouth, closes it, and shakes head sadly***

* * *

Dear Signore Romano,

please don't be upset! (I'm getting sad now!) I'm sure that Dad and I can take care of them. And if we run into any snags, we can ask you. Cos who knows the Mafia better than South Italy himself?

And if you ever need help with your guys, call me! I'm not afraid of them, like I said in the intro to my letter series. (Yes, I have jumped on the bandwagon. It's fun!) Besides, they can't kill us. You're a nation, and I'm a state. We can't die from physical wounds (...can we?). If we could, then Antonio would definately be dead by now with all the times you've headbutted him, heheheh.

Speaking of Antonio, how is he? I know that you may act like you don't like him, but I'm sure that you have at least some form of affection for him. Although I could be wrong...after all, you guys have known each other for hundreds of years.

...I'm sorry if that question was out of bounds. It's really not my place to interfere. I'm just a state, and a tiny one at that. Who am I to meddle in the affairs of nations? No one, really. I'm sorry again.

With Love and Hope,

Rachael Williams-Jones

The State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations

* * *

Dear Rachael,

Yeah, you two do that. By the way, you may be calling "Grandpa Arthur", pfft... "Mama Arthur" soon. If things go well. Hopefully your idiot of a dad doesn't screw this up, but he probably will.

*smiles a bit* Thanks for the offer, and I'll be sure to send you a letter when I get the chance.

I'm not sure, really. I don't think so, cause I remember quite a few times when Spain came home- ... No. We can't.

And the bastrd's currently bugging me to go to his place for his birthday. Moron... And, you're kinda right. B-but only just barely! Really, it's such a small amount that it probably doesn't even count at all! *coughs* I'm... Kinda worried about him, anyway. His economy's shit and there's no way he can pay off his debt without making things worse for himself.

A-anyway, it's fine. As long as you talk to the right one's you'll be fine. Meaning, stay the fuck away from Russia unless you want another cold war. America and he still don't get along at all.

Signed,

Romano

* * *

**Before I forget... Happy birthday Greece! XD**


	27. Lithuania III

**For Ivan. And quit fucking calling me "Lovi-chan" dammit! Jeez, it's really really creepy to imagine Russia doing that to Romano... o.o ... XD Crack fic idea~!**

**Disclaimer: Nope. Hell, I probably don't even own the completely crack idea above, do I?**

* * *

Anyway, you can't list them, because there are none~ She's a perfectly beautiful girl. The only thing different about her is that she's Belarus. She's unique. She's the only one for me... but we're all unique, right?

I can't help it. I think Belarus is a nice girl, and I'd do anything to defend her! She's so nice, and pretty, too!

Okay, cool. 'Cause Mexico is sending me a machete. I don't handle knives very well... not as well as Belarus, anyway... D: I'm scared. Think I'll live?

Pagarbiai,

Toris Laurinaitis

* * *

Toris... You. Need. Help. So very badly.

Wait, did you mean the world doesn't have problems, or that Belarus doesn't? ... Either way, you're way of thinking is completely fucked up.

Yeah yeah, we're all unique... Just like everyone else.

Hopefully you will. Maybe you should try for a less... I dunno, _mentally unstable_ girl for a change? Who knows, Belarus might get jealous that you're not chasing after her anymore.

... I'm gonna get shanked at the next meeting if she reads this, aren't I?

Signed,

Romano

* * *

**Yes, one of my best friends is Russia. And I'm our group's Romano. How the hell that happened, I don't know. Oh yeah... There was slight problem with last chapter's upload. Thanks for pointing that out to me, Ivan!**


	28. Louisiana II

**Wow, another from Ivan. That was fast. And you guys are getting closer to that one shot of your choice~ I should probably add that nothing 'M' rated is allowed as well. I get embarrassed easily. -/ / / / /- So, yeah.**

**Disclaimer: Why?**

* * *

Bonjour!

Well, Spain is nice...

Toris? We both know he'd be insane to even attempt an attack on me. What should I wear? Something formal, informal? If he offends me, I'll be sure to de-vitalize his regions. With. A. Spoon. Or, I can get Gator to do it. She's a good alligator.

Sincerely,

Acadia Guillot

~The State of Louisiana~

* * *

Ciao.

Ignoring that (completely retarded while true) Spain comment...

And you've gotta remember, he's decades of living under Russia, so he might be just a little crack pot. *mumbles* Though, not nearly as bad as you...

And it all depends on where you're going. If it's a classy resturaunt, you'll want something formal, but nothing too flashy. Something like a cafe, though, informal would be best.

That's... A lovely thought. You sure that France didn't fuck with your head as a kid?

Signed,

Romano

* * *

**And as an answer to your question, yes, yes I do. Yaoi! *beat senseless with pipe* **

***whines* Ivaaaan! That spoon thing is my joke! Ask permission next time, dammit... - 3-**


	29. Germany I

**From harspoon. And for the record, I'm currently sitting here, all bundled up, drinking tea and pretty much knocked out on Nyquil, so I can update for you guys. God, you people are so very lucky I'm such a nice person.**

**Disclaimer: All I own if my fucking cold... *grumbles***

* * *

Dear South Italy,

I was told by your Brother that I needed to send you a letter to try and get to know you better. Feliciano also wants to go out to dinner with you and Spain as a double date, myself being Feliciano's d-date.

Please don't send any death threats back, Feliciano will probably see them and start crying.

I'm sorry to bother you.

Sincerly,

Germany.

* * *

Listen, potato fucker.

The only reason I'm agreeing to this is so you can't defile mio fratellino. I know that even if I bitch at Feli constantly about it, he'll still go with you, and if I don't go, you'll probably rape him or something.

Signed,

Romano

P.S. Touch him and I will castrate you. And I _will _find some way to get Louisiana to help me. Technically it's not a death threat, but a de-vitalizing your regions threat.

* * *

**Is it wrong that I got so much enjoyment out of writing this letter response? I don't think so. It's like saying all the things I've ever wanted to say to my Germany about Italy. Also, I have absolutely nothing against GerIta. That's Ivan. *hides from her***


	30. Isabella III

**Another from cross-over-lover232. Really, if anyone knows someone that needs to dispose of a body, don't let them read the last Isabella one, per favore...**

**Disclaimer: How could I own something that's even more awesome than Prussia?**

* * *

dear lovi,

thanks very much for the advice it worked wonderfully! i sent some tomatos fresh from me and my mamas garden, nothing icky in them cause we use allnatral stuff to grow em! by the way, how is doing? i only ask becuse i am italien and spanish, the s[ainish came from my father, may he rest in peace.

love

isebella

* * *

Dear Isabella,

Please use capitals next time. And spell check. Thanks.

Anyway, you're welcome. Just don't use it too often; I've got enough to worry about...

Like I said in a previous letter, his economy is **crap**. But he still keeps acting like nothing's wrong, and it's driving me freaking insane! Maybe I should just hit him until he fesses up. Though, that might make it worse... *goes to find headache pills*

A-anyway, thanks for the tomatoes; they were really good. And your father must be proud about you trying to protect your mom like that, althoug, I don't think he'd apporve of your method of doing it. *shrugs*

Signed,

Romano

* * *

**Seriously, spell check and capitals people!**


	31. Spain III

**This is from MsKasuten. Thanks for the letter~**

**Disclaimer: *sits in emo corner***

* * *

Buenos días, mi querida!

Ahh, Lovi, of course you miss me! I'm sure you do truly, deep down! Aha, I can imagine your cute little face blushing like a tomate right now! Ahahaa~

Awww, but Loviiiiiiii~ Please come over! I'll make you a candlelit dinner and everything! Por favor! With lots of tomatoes and churros and paella and pasta! Lots of pasta! With tomato sauce and tomatoes and lots of cheese! Por favor, mi amor, POR FAVOR! I miss you so much!

Ahh, Tiffany? That reminds me, she did call me not long ago! She sounded so cute over the phone~ But she was crying! I feel so bad, Lovi! Qué vergüenza!

L-Loviiiiii~ If you don't like the dress, you could always send it back! Just don't burn it!

Of course I mean what I said, Lovi! You're mi amor~ I love you dearly, you mean so much to me!

Oh! I'd like to ask something, too! I was going to do it over the phone but then I'd have no reason to write~

Would you like to go out to dinner sometime? Like a date! We can go to an Italian restaurant! Or Spanish! It's all on me, of course!

It'd be great to spend more time with mi amor~

I hardly see you anymore! (Aha! That rhymed!)

This letter is pretty short, Boss is very busy right now! But I'll be sure to reply as soon as possible when I receive your next letter~

If you don't come over, I'm going to be very lonely! I'll have to fly to Italy on my birthday, then open the present there!

I really want to spend it with you, Lovi! Te amo~

Mucho amor,

España.

P.S I sent you some of the fresh tomatoes from our garden, Lovi~

I also sent a big tomate pillow, too! Now you can sleep with a big tomate pillow and always think of me while you do so! Aren't I smart?

There's some tomate boxers, too! 5 Pairs! I hope they're your size.

Te amo, Lovi! Write back!

* * *

Spain, you've got to be the weirdest bastard that I have ever had the displeasure of meeting. I'm completely fucking serious about this. Yes, this includes France, Prussia, England, America, and Russia. And now Toris, though he's just plain weird.

F-fine! Only so you'll stop cluttering my inbox with your stupid requests... However, I am still not wearing that Goddamn dress. The only way you'll ever be able to get me in that thin is if you got me so drunk that I couldn't see straight. And... *grumbles* I won't burn it. You're in far too much shit to be spending what little money you have though, dammit!

And you should feel bad. Even more so now, because she's fricking calling me "Mama Roma". Did you drop her on her head or something when she was a child?

O/ / / / /e No. No, you are not smart, you're the biggest fucking idiot I've ever met.

However the hell you say 'I hate you' in Spanish,

Romano

P.S. We're going on a d-double date with Feli and the potato. J-just to make sure that the bastard doesn't get any weird ideas, dammit! N-not because I want to spend more time with you or anything, moron. Che...

* * *

**Keep sending those letters in, people! We're almost at the 40 review mark! And... -O_O- Holy shit. Over 1000 hits in three days?**

**(-TwT-) I feel so very very loved... Seriously, my cold's not even bothering me any- Wait, no. Never mind. I still feel like crap.**


	32. Lithuania IV

**Another from Ivan~ God, I really shouldn't be updating, pfft.**

**Disclaimer: Korea: "Hetalia originated in me, da ze~!" Me: No it did not. Now quit invading my A/N. *kicks Korea out of story* If you want in, send a letter, Yong Soo.**

* * *

Sveiki!

Nuh-uh. I don't need ANY help. Aside from getting Belarus to love me. I need help in that department!

I know Louisiana is unstable... but Belarus is NORMAL. I hope little Belarus doesn't get her feelings hurt! I really do love her...

No, no. Belarus will figure that you're too busy writing these letters to care about Russia. She'll be happy.

Pagarbiai,

Toris Laurinaiti

* * *

Ciao.

Sure... Whatever you say, Toris.

*coughs* Define "normal". For the record, don't offend Acadia, or she'll castrate you with a spoon. I'm dead serious.

Where the hell did I say that I cared about Russia? Ugh... You read into things far far too much.

Signed,

Romano

* * *

**Yeah... I couldn't resist adding that thing about Korea up there. My mind's completely fucked right now. And we don't have meds! Noooooo!**


	33. Louisiana III

**From Ivan, yet again... She reviews the most often, lol. Btw, ignore the 40th review mark being her; she said that she's willing to give up that one-shot to someone that doesn't see me practically every day. XD**

**Disclaimer: I wish I didn't own this cold of mine...**

* * *

Bonjour,

I suppose you can ignore that comment. You can, you can. But he really is nice! He's so relaxed! I like him, anyway.

Actually... I really am excited. Papa is coming to my house, and I have a date coming up. Things don't get much better! ...But I really was not kidding about the spoon. And if I can't use a spoon, I can use a meat cleaver. I'm not picky. At all. :3

Alright! Thanks for the advice! I'll probably be cooking, though!

No, he didn't. He's a good Papa.

Sincerely,

Acadia Gullot

~The State of Louisiana ~

* * *

Ciao,

If there's one thing France did right with you, it was passing down his cooking skills.

I believe you weren't kidding. But, a spoon's more painful, since it'd take longer. Oh, crap... I'm discussing ways to castrate other nations with a mentally unstable state. Maybe I should go to a therapist or something. ... Fuck that; therapists don't know shit.

Signed,

Romano

* * *

**Ivan, what've you done to me? XD Also, here's an interesting question that came up. If Ukraine as a girl has huge boobs, what about as a guy?**


	34. Italy II

**This one's from dogsrule, as Italy. And guess what guys? 41st reviewer was... chibi-excel! So, put the genre, pairing if you've got one (pfft, she'll have one...), and maybe a prompt if you'de like. A prompt would be oh so helpful...**

**Disclaimer: Yeah, of course I'm Himaruya-sensei. I'm just posing as an American teenage girl with no life. *obvious sarcasm is obvious***

* * *

Ciao again fratello!

Are you glad I asked Doitsu to send you a letter? I thought he should join in on the fun too! I finally thought of a question to ask you! I was wondering where we could find another one of those chairs I sat on at the meeting that made me taller. I tried talking to to America because we're looking for the "Ablity to Read the Atmosphere", but he don't know. So if you can tell me GRAZIE!

Wishing you would stop calling Doitsu 'Potato Bastard' because it's not nice,

Italy Veneziano

P.S. I have plenty of Italian pride! Didn't you see how I faced England?

* * *

Hey, Feli.

No. No I most certainly am not, because now I have to go to make sure he doesn't rape you, and that means sitting through dinner with both the Nazi and tomato bastard!

*facepalms* You weren't sitting on a magic chair, idiota. You were sitting on another nation. Matthew, to be exact. You know, America's twin brother? Carries around a polar bear? Sealand tries to pose as him to sneak into meetings sometimes? Ringing any bells in that empty head of yours yet?

Telling you that that's never gonna happen,

Romano

P.S. Then stop speaking Japanese, dammit! We are not Asian! At all! Hell, you poked yourself in the eye while trying to use chopsticks one time!

* * *

**Absolutely no offense is meant with Romano's "Nazi" comment. I'm German, ironically, so I'm allowed to say it in jest. I'm actually a Euro mutt. XD If anyone is offended by that comment, I am truly very sorry. Feel free to flame me for it.**


	35. Spain IV

**This is from MsKasuten again~ Thanks for the letter! And you wouldn't be stealing it; have you **_**seen**_** how many letter stories are out there?**

**Disclaimer: Damn, it's getting kinda hard to come up with funny/witty ways of saying I don't own Hetalia.**

* * *

Mi hermosa Lovi,

Awww, I didn't think you'd care so much about me, mi tomate! You make Boss so proud!

Fantástico! I can't wait for the double date, mi amor! It's going to be so enjoyable! I'll finally be able to see mi poco de tomate for the first time in forever~

Aha~ Thank you for not burning the dress, Lovi~ It was very very expensive and it looks like it'd suit you!

Maybe perhaps I should get you drunk...

AHAHA! Just kidding!

Aww, mi amante de tomate, I didn't drop anyone on their head! You're even lucky I didn't drop you, ahahaha!

Mama Roma sounds tan lindo! That means I'm the Papa! We can be like a married couple~

I'm not an idiot, Lovi! Your words hurt me so!

I miss you dearly, though... I really can't wait to see you! Heck, I could fly over to Italy RIGHT NOW! I would! But I'm sort of broke right now...

Maybe when I get more money, I will visit!

I will admit, though, I do not regret spending most of my money on you, Lovi~ You're worth more than all the money in the world!

I hate you is... 'te odio'! Sí...

You should say 'te amo' more often to me, Lovi! Because I say it to you, mi ángel~

Boss has work to do so he will send more letters ASAP~

Te amo, Lovi~ Don't forget it!

Con mucho amor,

España

P.S I've framed the photos of you sleeping and they're sitting on my bedside table next to my bed~

Now every time I wake up, I'll see your face sleeping next to me!

Even if it's a photo, you're still sleeping, right?

Aha, if only you'd sleep with me again, just like you did when you were un bebé.

The next flight to Italy will be soon, I promise! TE AMOOOOOO~

* * *

Aha! I finally found that Spanish to Italian dictionary...

N-no! You've got it all wrong; I don't care! N-not at all! It'd just be a pain in the ass if you got worse, because then I'd probably get roped into taking care of you!

-_-### Dammit, bastard, if it's expensive, don't keep it once I send it back! Get a freakin refund on the stupid thing. You need all the money you can get...

You get me drunk, I will drop kick you all the way to England's and leave you on his doorstep in your Armada gear. Don't think I don't know where you keep it. And if you _dare_ encourage Tiffany to keep calling me that, not only will I leave you on his doorstep, but I will remind him of the Inquisition and get him drunk before setting him loose. Don't think I won't, bastard!

Don't regret-? -/ / /- I-idiot... Don't say stupid things. And just because you say that you l-love me doesn't mean I should say it back. You should only say that sort of thing if you mean it, which I don't. At all.

Pfft, if I'm an angel, then you've got a seriously fucked up view of religion, Antonio.

Kinda, sorta, wants to see you, if only to kick your ass,

Romano

P.S. That's just plain creepy!

* * *

**Ah, I loved writing this chapter so very much... Especially Romano's threats. Pfft, no one expects the Spanish Inquisition! XDDD**


	36. America IV

**This is from chibi-excel again. The puppy idea will bring out a very adorkable Romano in my writing, hopefully.**

**Disclaimer: FFFFFFF-!**

* * *

DUDE! ROMANO!

I GOT A DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE! HOW AWESOME IS THAT! I SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OWE YOU! SO! MUCH! I did it calmly, like you said, too~! He went bright red and said yes! So cute~!

Arthur's boyfriend, (i took your advice on the Iggy thing, too)

America~!

P.S. Of course I know about you! Canada talks to you alot! Not to mention I'm a hero! I KNOW ALLLLLL!

* * *

Heh, what did you expect? I'm half of a country of romance; I know what I'm doing. However, you sound creepily like Spain with that, so stop. It's freaking me out. What is with idiots and finding it cute when someone else blushes...?

He does? Alright... And keep telling yourself that, burger bastard.

Happy for you but feeling incredibly sorry for England,

Romano

P.S. Tiffany's getting a little annoyed at you about telling her to be more "narrow minded". Have you actually tried to help her with Spanish? You've got a lot of citizens that speak it at your place, so you should at least know a little, right?

* * *

**Seriously, Ivan was pissed when she saw that Alfred's official languages were now listed as Spanish and English. She says that if you wanna live here, fine, just pay the fucking taxes and learn the damn language, bitches. XD**


	37. Rhode Island VI

**From GillyflowerCalfuray~ Wow, 50 reviews already... Half way to 100 mark! And this would've been up sooner, but I got distracted with Role-Playing and HetaOni and other fanfictions... Yeah, nothing even close to resembling a life. At all.**

**Disclaimer: Dammit!**

* * *

Dear Signore Romano,

WHAT? Mama? What is going on? Dad has A LOT to tell me!

Thank you~ All the letters that I'm getting are really making me happy.

Oh, thank goodness. I was getting pretty worried there for a minute. (So that explains why I haven't died all those times I've gotten hit in the head with the boom on my sailboat and fell in the water.)

You should spend your birthday with him! He is quite nice. It's really cute to watch you two interacting. Does he need some help? I'll ask Dad to assist him. Antonio's always kind to me, so I'm sure he'll oblige.

You know, I'm not really sure why everyone is so afraid of Russia. Sure, he's big and can be eccentric, but I don't really think that counts as scary. I'm sure everyone would get along better with him if everyone treated each other with respect and kindness. Maybe all he needs is a real friend, ya know? I think I might talk to him one day.

With Love and Hope,

Rachael Williams-Jones

The State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations

* * *

Dear Rachael,

So very, very naive... And don't ask America to do that; he's got enough to deal with as well. We all do. Ugh... I think I'm going soft... Fuck, that means it'll harder to deal with tomato bastard next time.

And yes, yes he does. Be sure to ask him how his date with "Grandpa Arthur" went. I can't help but laugh every time I write that...

Pretty graceful, aren't you? It takes skill to do that multiple times. ;P

Signed,

Romano

* * *

**Ugh... Sick as hell, but still trying to type this crap out... XD**


	38. Florida III

**Another from Florida Tiffany! Yays! *is too drugged up to really care if she sounds retarded in A/Ns right now* Anyway, sorry this took so long to get up... And you're right, I wouldn't want to be like Canada, no matter how adorable he is. ... That's my sis. She's Canada. *bricked by my sister* Yeah, you can find our conversation about that on my profile, and discover why for a short while, she thought I was America. Which is hellavu way off from the truth.**

**Disclaimer: *holds up a sign that says "NO"***

* * *

Thanks~, not a lot of people consider me very lucky *ponders for a second*. Oh, you're welcome anytime at Florida, it won't be hard to find me. I live in Clearwater - nice beaches (haha, oil don't touch this bitch!) - I would love to have you over sometime.

I don't think Dad would read this. Hmm, sometimes he checks my computer history - but usually only when I get a virus.

Oh, my bad, I thought he was - I mean it sounded like you were flirting with him in the other letters and considering your history.

But if you think of him as a Big Brother, then I shall apologize for my misinterpation. I'll stop calling you Mama Roma tambien - instead I'll call you Fratello Lovi! Oh! I mean, Fratello Roma - lo siento I forget you don't like being called that.

My Dad sucks at gardening, I've only grown moonflowers for a science project once, but that's it. What do you grow? Do you prefer to grow vegetable or flowers?

Nah, nothing illegal. I just like playing piano, writing, and art. Among other interests.

Yah, well, when he gets a call that one of his kids is getting C's and some...Fs...

it doesn't matter if his daughter is interested in the whole fricking languages of the world

- what matters is his daughters grades. Our in his words, "Screw Melting pot, bring those

damn grades up!" Not my fault that spanish isn't as interesting as Japanese or Italian.

Thus Rosetta Stone has been taken until further notice.

I'm glad you like it, Paul grew them. He and his wife lets me stay at their house sometimes

- they're like a second family - and he's Sicilian (his father immigrated from Sicily and

fought for the Americans in WW2 - he won an award I think.). He has this big garden and he

grows all types of stuff.

I had fun talking, well, emailing, writing...I had fun exchanging letters with you and I

hope I'm not too annoying or anything *small happy smile* - I'm not that good with talking

with others and all.

Signed,

The State of Florida, Tiffany

P.S. - Well Spain is my Papa and at the time I thought you were dating him, so I naturally

called you Mama. Pero, since I was mistaken and you consider him like your brother - I

suppose you're my Big brother.

Dear Tiffany,

Glad that the oil didn't get to you; I heard that your sister, Acadia, was hit pretty hard with that crap. And maybe I'll drop by a few days before a world meeting or something; it'd be nice to meet your friend Paul, too. I actually don't think we've ever met...

Fl-flirting? How is cursing him out and calling him names flirting? D-dammit... And, um, thanks for not calling me that embarrassing nickname... Ugh, I'd never hear the end of it from Spain if you kept calling me that.

*snorts* I'm not surprised he does. I mean, he spends more of his time trying to tear down trees and plants than he does taking care of them. I doubt he's had a fresh homegrown fruit or vegetable that hasn't been genteically modified in about a decade or so. Whenever he started with the whole preservative shit thing. And I suppose I prefer vegetables, because at one point, they've got flowers on them, too, but you can actually eat the final product.

*winces* Ooh... But, at least my language is more interesting than Spanish. Kinda a hollow victory there... And don't worry, I kinda find myself enjoying this whole letter thing as well. A lot less annoying than having to talk to most of these bastards face to face...

Signed,

Romano

* * *

**Thanks again for the review~ *sighs* Better get started on another one... No matter how fun these things are, it's annoying when your cat keeps deleting all your work.**


	39. Italy III

**Hey, this one's from dogsrule. Thanks for the letrer, and the double dat thing isn't really a mess, per se. More like... Character developement...?**

**Disclaimer: Ah, Hidekaz-sensei is a lucky lucky guy...**

* * *

Ciao! It's me again!

I don't know why you're getting so upset about eating with Doitsu and Big Brother Spain. It'll be fun and Big Brother Spain misses you! Also I don't know why you're upset with Big Brother France for taking the pictures, Big Brother Spain showed them to me and I didn't see any problems with them. I've been practicing with the chopsticks more and now I don't hurt myself as much, I can't wait to show you! Vee~ before I forget I also bought new pasta so as soon as you're done we can eat some!

Wishing you would swear less because it sounds rude,

Italy Veneziano

P.S. Cool! America has a brother? When can I meet him?

* * *

Feliciano, he took those pictures while I was sleeping. Without my permission. He broke. Into. **Our house.** I could get him arrested for breaking and enter- ... That's a good idea... Anyway, point is, he's a fucking creeper. Who creeps and molests people. French bastard...

And you've met Canada before, remember? Hell, you sat in his lap.

A-and I'm not getting upset, I'm just worried about macho potato raping you or something if I don't go! And, well, it'd be awkward if I just sorta went without anyone... It's not like I want to go; not even close!

Telling you right now that it's never gonna happen,

Romano

* * *

**Pfft, Romano's so mean to his brother, but he really does care.**


	40. Louisiana IV

**Another for Ivan, my amazing but oh so very abusive Russia. Seriously, she threatens me! A lot... And yes, I did have to ask that question at the end. Thank you for not hurting me. For once. Also, who won the Superbowl? I didn't watch, cause American football's kinda boring for me... XD**

**Disclaimer: Pfft, no. Although, I do own a piece of fanart of Romano in a frilly apron! Though, the idea itself wasn't mine... And I'm still working on it.**

* * *

Bonjour,

Yes, I DO love to cook. It is a wonderful skill. I understand you and your brother are good at it too, oui?

Cool. Thanks for that advice. I may need it. Also, what should I serve? I was thinking of soup... and salad... and crawfish... and if things go REALLY wrong, he may end up eating vital regions.

I'm pretty picky, if you must know. I usually won't eat it, unless it's gourmet~

And therapists? Pfft! Waste of money, if you ask me!

Sincerely,

Acadia Guillot

~The State of Louisiana~

* * *

Ciao,

Yeah, we're pretty good. I mean, we _are_ the embodiments of Italy itself, so naturally we're amazing when it comes to food.

That's... Uh, no comment about that last part. But, what about that one soup thing with rice? Gumbo, right? And I'm guessing that means you won't touch English and most American food then. But then again, most people won't if they have any sense of taste at all.

Exactly! Why the hell do we pay people to listen to our "feelings"? They don't even _care_ for starters...

Signed,

Romano

* * *

**Thanks for the letter, Ivan~ And- o_o;;; Crap. ahfhagdj-! I completely forgot to do Lithuania's last letter! DX**


	41. England I

**Hello again everyone! This one is from dogsrule, who decided to be our England after they heard we needed one. Grazie~! And fuck I love you guys! Almost 60 reviews and nearly 4000 hits? Jeez... I need a life if I'm getting so excited over this...**

**Disclaimer: Nope. If I did, I'd be getting letters from crazed fangirls in my mailbox everyday, as I'm sure Hidekaz-sensei does. :3**

* * *

Greetings Romano,

I heard from some other nations specifically Can…What's his name, that you are currently giving advice. So I was wondering if there was any suggestion you have about what to do about a certain hamburger eating GIT that so openly in front of a large crowd of people asked me out on a date. Also I was wondering why no one ever wants to eat my cooking, do you happen to know why? All people do is say how poor it is next to that French slop.

Wishing you luck with your brother,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Before you say anything MY BLOODY SCONES ARE DELICOUS!

* * *

Dear England,

It's Canada. You freaking raised him after saving him from getting molested by France the fuck-face once he was older. America's brother?

And my advice is to, I don't know, possibly _explain_ that you don't appreciate him doing that? And if you didn't like it, then why'd you say yes? Yes, burger bastard told me. He's really not that great at keeping his mouth shut, is he? At least he's not calling you "Iggy" as often now.

And no one wants to eat your cooking because, to put it bluntly, it sucks balls. Seriously, you almost killed Feliciano with that crap when you fed him once! America's lucky he got out alive as a kid. But, thanks for the luck, I guess. I'm gonna need it...

Hoping your little date isn't a complete disaster,

Romano

P.S. If it's any consolation, I... Don't mind your tea...?

* * *

**Seriously, the tea is the only English thing that I will willingly ingest. Other than that, it's so... Tasteless! XP No offense to any people from the UK reading this, but I was born and raised in Louisiana, so a lot of the food I eat has French influence or plenty of spices to it. I also eat a lot of authentic foreign foods, too. Pfft, hate most American stuff. And I don't really like McDonald's after the incident with the chicken nugget. Ask Team Rebel about it. XD**

**Review please!**


	42. Spain V

**Afternoon, and it's another chapter update today. This one's from MsKasuten, who's started her own letter series for Spain! It's called **_**Cartas a Espana **_***can't figure out how to do the little squiggly thing and is too lazy to take the time to find out* But seriously, I felt really bad while writing this response... It's just like... The Romano in me was going, "Shit! You idiot; why'd you make him upset!" and then, "What the hell is he going on about now?" XD**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Hetalia, I'd probably be living in Japan right now, with all the Hetalia Merchandise I could ever want. And, if you take a look at my location, I live in A.K.Y. (Alfred). Plus, I'm broke, which means no Hetalia stuff besides the dvds I own and the fanart I do.**

* * *

A mi tomate, Lovi,

...Lovi doesn't care about me?

I understand... I wasn't a very good Boss, after all, was I? Ahaha...

But I care about you very much... I don't understand why you keep denying it, but I really really care about you.. I love you so much.. Why can't you see that?

Do you really hate me that much, Lovi? I thought maybe buying you things would make you feel better, or like me more... but it doesn't change anything. It just makes you angrier..

Am I really... that hard to love? Even like?

I'll stop sending you things if you want me to, then.. And I'll get Tiffany to stop calling you Mama Roma.. if it's really bugging you.

..

Aha... that was depressing, wasn't it..?

Sorry! Boss is very very upset right now! Probably not the best time to send a letter... but I promised I'd send you a letter ASAP, didn't I?

Sí, I did..

I wouldn't mind seeing you right now..

Please.. please visit sometime, bien?

Te extraño tanto..

...I'm not creepy, either!

OH! Let me tell you about a dream I had!

I dreamt we were swimming in tomatoes! Isn't that a great idea, Lovi? We should do that sometime! Ahaha, we'd probably end up eating them all!

Of course you're un ángel~ Te amo~

I'm going to go now, because I have alot of work to do~

Save me, Lovi!

Con el amor y los tomates,

España

P.S I found a very funny video on youtube! Search 'Killer Tomatoes' and go to the first link! It's hilarious!

* * *

Dear Spa- erm... Antonio,

Ok, maybe I do care, if only a little... And I d-don't hate you, bastard... G-Goddammit, now you're making me feel bad! You're so s-stupid... -/ / / / /- You can't buy what you already have, bastard...

Che, idiot. I'm already on a fucking plane to Spain. You'd better appreciate it, dammit!

... You're kidding me, right? Who dreams about tomatoes! And hell no, I'm not doing that with you. You're lucky I'm even going to wear-! **Ignore that last sentence!**

Yeah yeah, m-me too... And save you from what, your own stupidity? Cause I don't think that's possible. You'd better have everything done by the time I get there.

T-T-Ti amo, bastardo,

Lovino

P.S. I searched killer tomatoes and the first link was some Russian girl explaining where the word came from. The hell? Stupid Frenchies getting my language wrong...

* * *

**Again, no offense to any French reading this. And I actually looked that up and came up with someone called, "HotforWords" on YouTube. Apparently, the French mishearing the Italian words for it is why the tomato is called the, "Apple of Love" sometimes. ^_^;;; And yes, that was Romano making a ref to wearing that God awful dress for Spain. ... Which I should so draw. *runs to get Prismas and pencils***


	43. Belarus I

**Hey, looks like we've got a Belarus now! :3 ... Run Ivan, run! You found you're stalker, now run like hell! DX**

**Disclaimer: I'm kinda glad I don't own Belarus...**

* * *

Romano,

Прывітанне. I am sending this letter because I am in need of advice. How do I make brother love me? All he does is run off and hide from me, if not that, he spends time with that Chinese nation. I need his love, we must marry. Why can't he return my love? Is he in denial?

Also tell me how to keep away a stupid, annoying man. I've broke his fingers, his legs, any of the stupid little bones in his body, but he won't go away. And he keeps asking me on dates. It's very irritating, I've tried stabbing him but I remember he's one of brother's little servants, and I do not want brother to be upset with me. How can I make this annoying little мудак to go away? Зрабіць яму сысьці!

Ваш смяротна,

Рэспубліка Беларусь..

* * *

Dear Belarus,

First things first. I can't read Belarusian, but I've got a pretty good idea of what you were saying in those places. Second: Maybe you should stop stalking him...? Just a suggestion; don't stab me next time you see me! Or, you could pretend to change your affections to someone he hates. Although, him not loving you in the way you want might have something to do with you two being... Related, for starters?

You're talking about Toris, aren't you? *shakes head* Try telling him outright that you don't feel the same way. If that doesn't work, um... Try telling Russia that he's bothering you and it scares you...? I know that he's actually really protective of you and Ukraine, so if he hears that what Toris is doing is making you feel uncomfortable, he might put a stop to it.

Signed,

Romano

P.S. Please please please don't stab me next time you see me. I've got no interest in your brother whatsoever. He's not even writing to me, so nothing to worry about!

* * *

**Thank you Google Translate! XD Here are some translations, which I should probably be putting up from now on:**

**Прывітанне: Greeting**

**мудак: asshole (very ladylike language there, Belarus. =w=;;;)**

**Зрабіць яму сысьці!: Make him leave!**

**Ваш смяротна,: Your death, (O_o)**

**Рэспубліка Беларусь..: Republic of Belarus**


	44. Florida IV

**Another from Florida Tiffany today~ Yeah, Canada's right next to me and annoying the hell out of me. Sometimes, I swear she's America. But, I'm one of the few that notice her, so, no. Not Al. HELP ME!**

**Disclaimer: DX**

* * *

For this entire week I've been in this weird funk. It's really hard to describe, but..here goes nothing...I feel really numb and depressed, like I'm useless, and the things I do like doing like playing piano or reading, writing, or art - it does nothing for me.

All the stuff that once brought me peace, are now bringing me anxiety.

I'm part of the newspaper at my high school, and this is my second year, and I'm really into it. Pero, recently its just been so stressful and I just find no joy it what I do.

People have been noticing, but the issue is - I don't know why I feel so numb and sad - not even, it's like this numb, useless emotion.

Have you ever had this happen? Please help me, it really is affecting my grades and I hate it sooo much! What can I do that could possibly make it go away?

Feeling numb and confused,

The State of Florida, Tiffany

P.S. - I got you some more tomatoes and some chocolate, yanno, since I sent you two letters instead of one.

By the way, I thought you thought of Papa as a brother, why are you going out on a date with him?

That's incest, which isn't good because your children might have some disorder or something. Do you want your kids to have a mental disorder? I think not!

Adios~!

* * *

Dear Tiffany,

Maybe you just need to take a break for a little while. And you're kidding me, right? I think everyone's had that happen to them at least once. Try explaining how you feel to your dad, and maybe he can help.

I really don't remember what I did to make it go away; it just left on its own. Either that, or someone slipped anti-deprassants into my food during that time...

Hoping this... Whatever it is stops affecting you soon,

Romano

P.S. I-it's only because I wanna make sure that the potato fucker doesn't do anything to mio fratellino is all! Not like I wanna go. Either way, we're not related by blood at all. That's Feli, Marcello, and me. And in case you haven't noticed, there are two things needed for kids to be born: That... yeah, **that** takes place, and that both people involved be of the opposite gender. We're both **guys.** B-besides, it's not like Spain would ever get that far with anyone, much less me.

* * *

**Ah, um, sorry for not getting to this sooner. But, the most you really can do is wait for it to go away.**


	45. New York I

**Oh God! Guys, I'm soooo sorry for not updating sooner! But… I got my computer taken away for getting a 'C' on my interim report… I know, stupid. *sighs* Well, the one's from DisturbingBunnyRabbit, coming to us as New York!**

**Disclaimer: Wouldn't that be the best gift ever?**

* * *

Yo, South Italy!

This is the State of New York, also known as Thaddeus Jones!(Call me T.J.) 'Sup, dude? Just writin' ta ask ya some questions...

1) How do ya deal with your hyper lil' bro? 'Cause my siblings bug the ever lovin' crap outta me.

2) Could ya send me some recipies? I LOVE Italian food, and word on the street is that your cooking is even better than your bro's. ;)

3) How should I ask Ontario out? I met her while she was over with Uncle Canada to visit Pops and haven't stopped thinkin' 'bout her since. She is FINE!

Oh, and as a note to all my siblings reading this, ease up on Pops a little, would ya? He does the best he can for us, ya know. Plus, if he ever reads any 'o these, he'll lock himself in his room and eat nothin' but icream for three days. Ya know he's been sensitive about how we feel about him ever since...Well, ya know what I'm talkin' 'bout.

Thanks for readin' this, dude! Sorry for takin' up alot o' room writin' a message to my sibs. Holla back soon, alright?

- T.J.

* * *

Ciao, T.J.

Not much is going on right now, except with Italy's Prime Minister being a dick.

How do I deal with Veneciano…? Usually I just plop Gino or Giovanni into his lap and he's fine for a while. Though, most of the time he's never around. He's always off with the potato bastard or Japan, and while I don't mind Japan, the other bastard makes me want to strangle him. So. Very. Badly. Have you considered tying them up and mailing them to Siberia? Or some other equally barren, cold, and bastard-ish place?

Heh, I'd be happy to. It's nice to see that you and Rachael have good taste in food and that your dad didn't ruin it. You've… Never been forced to eat brow bastard's food, have you? If so, my sympathies go with you.

And as for the last one, you could find out what she likes and somehow incorporate that into a gift. But the best thing you could do is just act like you usually would. If act too different from your usual personality, she may notice it and think you're not worth her time. And don't worry about the message to your siblings; I don't mind.

Signed,

Romano

* * *

**Ah... It feels so good to update this again... Again, I'm sorry for how long this took, but life is a bitch. ~_~#**


	46. Rhode Island VII

**Another letter from GillyflowerCalfuray~ Ah, you guys make me so very happy… -^_^- So, enjoy the latest letter!**

**Disclaimer: The day I own Hetalia is the day that England expects the Spanish Inquisition. *shot for really bad joke***

* * *

Dear Romano,

I'm not naive! I just hate seeing someone being ostracized. I always want to rush to them and be nice to them, because I know exactly how they feel, and it's not good to leave people when all they need is a friend! It's not heroic!

...Did I actually just use that word? Wow. I need to stop being around Dad when he's in his hero mode. And he's getting better, you know!

D-D-DATE?

...

...

...

Sorry, I actually just fainted from shock. What the heck do you mean? Arthur raised Dad! They're practically related! Now, I'm not opposed to homosexuality, but between two people who are family in everything except blood just seems...wrong.

It's not because I'm clumsy! I prefer sailing solo in storms. The fact that you never know which way the wind is going to shift makes it exciting. You don't get harsh winds in the Mediterranean, do you? Well, next time I get a Nor'easter, you're coming sailing with me. (Be prepared to be soaked and freezing two minutes after you set out.)

With Love and Hope,

Rachael Williams-Jones

The State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations

* * *

Pfft, you do, Rachael. You really do. I almost had to go back and make sure that I hadn't mixed your letter up with America's. Anyway, there's another reason why I told you to try and stay from Russia, and that's his crazy little sister. She's pretty, but freaky as fuck.

And while England may have raised him, they are in no way related. Spain raised me, didn't he? … WAIT, THAT CAME OUT WRONG! O/ / / / /O

*coughs awkwardly* Y-yeah, anyway… After the Revolution, they were technically no longer tied together, so they're really not family anymore in that sense. But, don't you want to make your dad happy? For some reason or other, he likes England. And it's definitely not for his cooking. -_-

Eh, sometimes we do. But… I prefer to stay dry and warm, thank-you. There's no way in hell I'm possibly going to drown just because you have insane hobbies.

Signed,

Romano

* * *

**Ah, awkward Romano is awkward... But, today's Valentine's Day, and guess what? I forgot to get a gift for my Spain! :D So, now I'm royally screwed... Maybe a piece of artwork...? A painting'd be good... Well, I know what I'm doing when I get home... *rushes off with Prismas and paints* **


	47. Italy IV

**Another from dogsrule, who's started her own letter story as Italy! And, thankfully, I managed to nab a spot as Romano. Ah, I'm such a nerd… And you can ask Team Rebel about my Romano-ness since it doesn't come out in these A/Ns too much, does it? But trust me, I'm Romano… So very Romano like… ""orz**

**Disclaimer: Whoever told you I owned Hetalia played a very cruel joke on you…**

* * *

VEE~! Fratello! Don't get Big Brother France arrested! It's not his fault he acts like that! By the way when did we meet Canada? I can't remember.

But I'm sure we'll all have fun together! I already got the pasta recipe I want to use ready! I also talked to Doitsu and he said he can bring wurst, and that you don't have to eat it if you don't want to! I don't know what Big Brother Spain is bringing though, can you ask him?

Can't wait for when we all eat together,

Italy Veneziano

P.S. What does molest mean?

* * *

Actually, Feliciano, it very much is his fault. And remember? You SAT on him. Ugh… I feel really bad for the poor guy…

He's probably bringing tomatoes, or maybe Paella. I don't really know, nor do I care. I just want this to be over as soon as freaking possible… And of course I don't want to eat that German crap! Che palle!

Really needs and Advil to help the headache cause by all this stupidity,

Romano

P.S. Uh... Nothing. Nothing at all. If you really want to know... I guess you could say it's what happens when people grab our curls without our permission.

* * *

**Romano trying to preserve Italy's innocence by giving an indirect definition that he probably won't understand anyway... Siblings, huh? XD**

**Also, I need to look up the last two episodes of Hetalia that aired recently. I wasn't able to get them because of stupid people that expect too much of me. I'm just a fanfic writer, dammit! And Algebra II is haaaard!**


	48. Spain VI

**Ok, another from MsKasuten. This would've been so much better if I had actually gotten this up sooner...**

**Disclaimer: I think I've said I don't own this enough by now, dammit!**

* * *

Mi tomate,

You care? L-Loviiii~ You make me so happy!

... AHHHHHHHHHHHH! YOU'RE GOING TO BE IN SPAIN SOON, HOW EXCITING! I CAN'T WAAAAAIIIIITTTTTTTTTT!

Don't worry, Loviiiii~

All the work is done, my house is spotless and there's plenty tomatoes for both of us! Hurray! I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU!

I dream about tomatoes, Lovi! I thought you did, toooo~

W-wear what..? ... OH! I know! Aahahaaaa! You're going to wear something for mi birthday, sí? Aahhahaaa, yaaay! I knew you'd give in, Lovi! Fusosososo~

You're going to look so adorable! You have to show me~

Maybe you could show me something else~...

Te amo! I love you so much!

Mucho amor,

España

P.S Awww, well instead search 'Attack of the Killer Tomatoes', then! Because it's funny!

OR wait until you're here, then you can see~

When you get here, will you be sleeping in my room with me?

... or a boring spare room..?

* * *

St-stupid Spagna! It's nothing to get excited about, dammit! … You're a very lonely man, aren't you?

A-a-and shut-up! You have no idea how much shit I'm going through with this, bastard! And what the hell do you mean, show you something else?

Fucking idiot…

Romano

P.S. I'll take the spare room. I don't trust you to not rape me in my sleep.

* * *

**I just BARELY got this thing saved before the bell rang for next period.**


	49. England II

**Ok, here's another England letter from dogsrule. Ugh... I really need to start doing these faster; I'm way behind, lol.**

**Disclaimer: Yeah, and Prussia's not an arrogant egotistical nation. He's actually very sweet and sensitive once you get to know him. *rolls eyes***

* * *

Dear Romano,

Yes, I remember who you are talking about now. At least I rescued him from frog-face before he turned out like him. I would suggest to imagine Canada like that, but let's face it one is way more than enough….I suppose I could cast a spell on that frog. My new fairy friend Sparkle has found a very good one, if you like I can introduce you to her sometime.

As for with Alfred…do you really think that I haven't tried that already? That bloody git just doesn't get it! And uh, it wasn't I DIDN'T appreciate him asking! It's just *blush*…OH BOLLOCKS! FORGET I SAID ANYTHING!

Also with your brother, he's feeling much better now! I only wanted him to try the pasta I made to see if it was up to Italian standards. Thank you for wishing me luck on my date with Alfred, he'd better not try and drag me to a McDonalds…can't they have anything worthwhile on that bloody menu? A simple meal of fish and chips or scones with Earl Grey tea would be a large money maker!

Wishing you a good day (although you insulted my cooking),

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. I wasn't blushing! I was…uh…THE SUN GOT TO ME! Yes, that was it.

* * *

Dear England,

Uh... Yeah, sure... That sounds... Good. But, I'm kinda busy for the next few months, so, I'll have to turn down your offer. But, are you on any pills that you've been forgetting to take, by any chance? Cause if you are, you should take them. NOW.

I... No. Not really. I figured you had, but just had to say in case. And if he does try and drag you to McDonald's of all places, I will personally go to his home and whack him upside the head with a pistol. Fucking moron...

Signed,

Romano

* * *

**Pfft, you can tell that Romano's uncomfortable with England talking about his... Magical friends. XD**


	50. Florida V

**So, I kinda skipped the first Florida letter so that I could do this one, because this was just too good to pass up. Hope you don't mind too much, Florida Tiffany! XD If you wanna look at the pics, go to the review page and follow the links given.**

**Disclaimer: Heeeell no!**

* * *

Dear Lovi,

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY~!

So yes, I wanted to wish you a happy time with Spain - and don't try to lie to me anymore about your 'platonic' relationship with him cause I found evidence!

.com/favourites/41150500#/d341iqi

(I didn't know you could dance!)

.com/image/aph%20spain%?o=193

I can't believed you lied to me.

As for these photos, Uncle Francis gave them to me - oh and he gave me this other picture and asked me if this is the outfit you're wearing for Spain. It looks very pretty on you.

.com/favourites/41150500#/d346swy

So, I'll ask you;

Are you and Antonio dating and shagging?

With Love and a smirk,

The State of Florida, Tiffany

P.S. - So I guess that does make you my Tia Lovi~!

* * *

O/ / / / / / /O I'm. Going. To kill. Francis. Where the hell did he get those from? ! ? ! ? Chigii! ! ! Th-the dress one is completely not real, I swear!

F-fuck, what is with America's kids asking these kinds of questions? ! Well, all the girls so far... Actually, it's basically **only **been the girls that have been saying that Antonio and I are- WHAT THE HELL! NO WE ARE NOT DOING EITHER OF THOSE THINGS, DAMMIT!

...

...

...

...

Ve... Feliciano here! Fratello passed out while writing, so I'm finishing up for him~! But, what he said is true. He and Fratello Spain aren't dating. ... Yet. It's going to happen, if only Romano'd stop being so darned stubborn, ve! I hope this whole Valentine's thing works...

~Italy Veneciano

* * *

**Yeah, Italy made a brief appearance to pick up after Romano fainted from everything, lol. Just had to get this up before the day ended.**


	51. Louisiana V

**From my Ivan~ I know that Lithuania's feeling neglected, but I wanna get all these other one's up first, please! I'm sorry I skipped him! T^T**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Hetalia, I wouldn't have forgotten to do Liet's, now would I? **

* * *

Bonjour,

Yum. I like Italian food. Not as much as French food, but it's still pretty good. French is still the best, though. And France is just the best Papa in general! :D

You don't have a comment? That's okay! Just know, I really do mean what I say. I suppose I'll cook gumbo. I like gumbo. And I don't eat anything that Grandpaw or Daddy cooks. I like breathing, very much so.

Therapy- not much help. I agree.

Sincerely,

Acadia Guillot

~The State of Louisiana~

* * *

Ciao,

You weren't dropped on your head as a kid, were you? Although, since you were raised by wino bastard, I suppose I can't blame you for thinking that...

O.o;;; That's... Wonderful that your thinking of putting that in your food... And good for you. You're smarter than most of your siblings in that respect.

Signed,

Romano

* * *

**Uh... All I can say is that inspiration for this one kinda... Died. Horribly, painfully, died. XD**


	52. Belarus II

**... I fear for my life here. Yep, Buttons and Ribbons is back as Belarus. Also, do you think that Romano's out of character in the letters? I'm a little self conscious about that right now...**

**Disclaimer: You're kidding me, right?

* * *

**

Romano,

Добры дзень, I won't stab you, this time. Only because you gave me advice. Most people would run away.

Зараз, I told Літва to leave me alone, countless times, he doesn't seem to get it.

He called me 'cute' and 'beautiful' ...so I threw a knife at him.

He's lucky it missed.

I am considering telling brother that he raped me, maybe perhaps he will finally leave me alone.

I am taking your advice on how to make brother love me. I have tried to talk to that America, I know brother hates him very much. America seems... nice.. He seems to be the only person who's not afraid of me. He's always smiling and making jokes. It makes me... happy.

B-but I'm only going to start speaking with him more because of the plan! If I can make brother jealous, he will finally confess his love and we can then marry!

I need to dispose of that English nation if I want my plan to succeed. He's been around America a lot, and the plan won't work with him around!

ад,

Рэспубліка Беларусь.

P.S.

I am going to Italy for a holiday in April, I suggest you show me around if you want to keep all of your limbs.

* * *

Dear Belarus,

Yeah, he's pretty tenacious... I've tried telling him to go after someone else, but the idiot won't give up. I think telling Russia he raped you is going a little too far, though. Just... Just a bit. O_o;;; Most people would just accept the compliments...

I think that part of the reason he's not giving up is because you react to him doing those things. Maybe if you just... Ignore him? I dunno, but if he sees that he's not getting any sort of response from you at all, whether it be good or bad, he might give up. It's worth a shot...

*gulps* W-will do. Word of advice though, Italian airport security won't be too happy if they find you in posession of potential weapons. And your knives... Those definitely count.

Signed,

Romano

* * *

**Uh oh... Romano, what have you done? ! Now Artie's on Natalia's kill list! Alfred's gonna be pissed if his boyfriend suddenly gets stabbed to death.**


	53. New Prussia I

**Ok, so this one's from CookiesForTheNeko, and she's sending a letter in as New Prussia! Yep, in Canada. And here's a quick fun fact. There's also a King of Prussia in Pennsylvania, America. I kid you not. It's a real place. **

**Disclaimer: I'm really tired of doing this…**

* * *

Dear Romano,

What the fuck did you do to my dad? He's been really depressed lately! Another thing, HE'S SMOKING FUCKING POT RIGHT NOW. When I ask him what the hell is wrong with him he keeps saying:

"No one notices me and I tried everything Lovino said but it's not working..."

WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY VATTI? Seriously, you better fix him! Gilbert won't even do anything! He's starting to scare me!

Sincerely,

New Prussia also known as Bella Williams

* * *

Dear New Prussia,

I didn't do anything, dammit! And he's smoking- Fuck. For starters, you might wanna take that away from him... He's not exactly thinking clearly and the pot's not helping. But, um, some people notice him! His kids, albino bastard, sometimes burger bastard, burger bastard's kids, me. More people than he thinks notice him! So tell him to stop complaining and to drop the drugs before I go over there and make him do it myself.

Signed,

Romano

* * *

**Thanks for the letter! Just out of curiosity, is King of Prussia New Prussia's sibling or something? **


	54. Canada III

**Lili and RayRay again with another letter as Canada. Thanks for sending it in! ^_^**

**Disclaimer: I'm only a fan…

* * *

**

Dear Romano,

I did it! I scaled the CN Tower! It was quite a sensation... Everyone wondered how the Governor General levitated nearly 2000 feet.

So I locked myself in my room to mourn and surf the Internet. Or, at least, I had planned to do that... then I found all the PruCan fics and got really disturbing nightmares. So now I'm the mysterious nobody who helped someone else get famous and can't even Internet-booze in peace... Why do bad things always happen to me? T_T

Canada - oh, why do I even bother writing my name anymore...

P.S.: The next-door neighbour says she read some very...uh, interesting things about you during her geography assignment. You have my sympathies, Romano.

P.P.S.: Just out of curiosity - only curiosity, mind you - um... do you think Prussia would be interested in, um... No, never mind. Forget I asked...

* * *

Dear Canada,

For the record, you're really freaking your kids out, New Prussia especially. And while people may not notice you all the time, there are a lot that do. Albino bastard and your kids for starters. Then there's your brother and his kids, too. And, I notice you now. So… Get your ass out of that pity party and go let your family know your fine, dammit! And drop the pot! I didn't think you were as stupid as Lars to do drugs… Che.

Would Prussia be interested in what? And- … I don't want to know what she read, do I?

Really thinks you need to man up and grow a pair about this whole situation,

Romano

* * *

**If Romano seems overly mean here, it's only because he's worried about Canada in his own weird way. Next up is... o_o ... XD Swissy!**


	55. Swissy I

**This is from my good friend, Skadiyoko, who's computer died so she hasn't been able to update anything. She's not dead, people! Just… On hiatus. And as for how she sent the review… Thank God for DSi. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own this genius creation, or the genius creation above either. I'm too poor to be the creator of them…**

* * *

Dear Romano,

I heard you're accepting letters, and I have a couple things to, err, request of you.

First and foremost, please tell your bruder to at least put some clothing on before running across my lawn at midnight trying to get to Germany's. I know we're on fine terms now, but if Lily ever gets a look at his... thing.. then I will hunt him down (even if it means crossing into France's house, though I don't particuarly like being there... Hell, I don't even like sharing a border with him.)

On a more, uh, personal matter. Uh, well, you see... Ugh, I-I keep, it's like.. Okay, every time I have a peaceful moment, a past memory of Roderich and I pops in my head. And, well, this has been happening for a while now, and I'm not stupid enough to not realize I have... feelings for him... but I just don't know how to go about this whole thing. I can't ask Lily, because it's.. I-I just can't! So...could you, you know, h-help me with this?

Switzerland.

* * *

Dear Switzerland,

I'll pass the message on. Can't guarantee he'll listen, but I can try. And believe me, I completely agree with not liking France. Freakin perv… Keep an eye on Lichtenstein when he's around, or he might try something. I wouldn't put it past the bastard…

And as for your other… Problem, you've done a lot by just admitting it to yourself that you like him. The next step would probably be for you to try and mend your friendship. You two are still on kind of rocky terms in that department. Hope this helps.

Signed,

Romano

* * *

**Is it glaringly obvious that I have little experience in the romance department? ^_^;;; Also, you have no idea how hard it was for me to not have Romano call Vash Swissy. So... Very... Hard...**


	56. Italy V

**Another Italy letter from dogsrule! … This one's probably going to be very very short. *laughs***

**Disclaimer: Do I look like I own the greatness that is Hetalia?**

* * *

But Fratello are you sure it was Canada I sat on? I didn't hear anything and the chair only felt like it had a cushion on it!

I don't know why you don't want to try German food! There's a lot that taste good!

Wondering what you mean by all the stupidity,

Italy Veneziano

P.S. SI! I got it! Thanks for explaining fratello!

* * *

Yes, Veneciano, I'm sure. He told me that you had been sitting on him. He's kinda… Hard to notice unless you talk to him.

And I don't want to try German food because I don't like it! Get that through your thick skull, dammit! And if he comes at me holding a potato, I'm running. I read your letter, so I know what he's planning!

Feeling just a tad paranoid about your potato bastard,

Romano

* * *

**Yeah, this barely counts as a chapter, pfft. Anyone ever try wurst? I agree with Italy. It tastes like shit XD But, that's just my tastes. I'm more accustomed to fish and rice and pasta and seafood and pretty much nothing German. Although, my dad did give me beer once... I didn't like it. *laughs***


	57. Rhode Island VIII

**Gilly's back as Rhode Island again~ And 78 reviews? Guys… I feel so happy! ^ 3^**

**Disclaimer: Nope. But, I did do another fanart of Austria and Swissy and Ash and Pikachu respectively for my sis! Bri Nara, if you're reading this, I feel honored. XD**

* * *

Dear Romano,

Meanie.

Oh...I had forgotten about Belarus. She is a bit scary. Why doesn't Russia ever firmly tell her to back off? He's the only one that could... anyone else who tried would get stabbed...

Oh, no, I've got nothing against you and Spain. I'm just weirded out by Dad and England. Still, you're right. Dad does like England. I'll apologize to him for freaking out.

And we know how to deal with Grandpa's cooking! I distract him (because he likes me) while a few of my siblings cook. By the time I'm out of ideas, the food is done, and he can't do anything.

Pshhhhh, dry and warm is lame! Come on, man! You gotta feel the thrill! (And I wouldn't let you drown.)

But still, to each their own, so I'll take you sailing in June. It's very warm, and there's almost no waves, so you'll stay plenty dry. We can try out this catamaran I've had my eye on! And since you're just on a little platform, you get harnassed on so that you can't fall off.

With Love and Hope,

Rachael Williams-Jones

The State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations

* * *

Dear Rachael,

Yes, I am very mean. Get used to it.

Maybe because she's his sister or something. I don't know how his mind works, nor do I want to.

You and your sibs are pretty smart. … Probably didn't get those genes from America then. And thanks for the offer. That actually sounds kinda… Fun.

Signed,

Romano

* * *

**I couldn't think of anything to put in response to this one... Sorry for the fail chapter. I'll be going back to do that Lithuania letter I missed now, before Ivan decides she's tired of waiting and spams my inbox with annoying reminders to get my ass in gear and do it. *sighs* But, I love her anyway. As a sister, for those of you that might've taken that a different way.**


	58. Lithuania V

**Just saying this... I suck. So badly. XD Lithuania's probably feeling a lot like Mattie right now... I don't know how the hell I missed this thing, but I did. ^-^;;;**

**Disclaimer: Fuck you! *pouts***

* * *

Sveiki!

SHE ISN'T CRAZY!

Normal? Live life, don't be crazy. She doesn't hear voices. She doesn't see random things that are not there. You and I both know that she is perfectly normal! Oh, and that's... scary! ^_^; HELP ME!

I never said you did! I'm just saying, she worries that people will try and steal Russia from her. If you're writing letters, you'll be safe, because she'll figure that you're too busy writing them! Get me?

Pagarbiai,

Toris Laurinaitis

* * *

Ciao.

Uh... I'm sorry for not replying sooner...? I kinda, sorta... Lost your letter. Feliciano found it in the closet.

Hear voices and see random things, huh? ... Sound like anyone we know? Particularly a certain island bastard?

She's actually started writing to me, and I feel really screwed over. Not as badly as I did when France caught me alone in the meeting room one day, but close. So fucking close to that!

Signed,

Romano

P.S. If you get stabbed, it's not my fault.

* * *

**I was originally going to put "Not as badly screwed over as I felt on Valentine's Day", but my China said not to put that for some reason. *shrugs* And yes, Ivan! I have YaoYao's email! Along with Feli's! Be jealous! XD *hit with pipe***


	59. America V

**So, another from chibi-excel. Yeah, that oneshot? Not even close to being finished. At all. I'm writing it in my notebook in between classes and during lunch. While people *cough* France and Spain! *cough* try to read over my fucking shoulder! They won't leave me alone! England's even gone as far as to throw her samich at them once...**

**Disclaimer: Daaaamiiiiiit!**

* * *

YO! Ro-Ro-Ro-Romanooo!XD

Well...you arent very romantic usually, poor Spain has to do all the work. And don't deny it. I'm America, and as America and a hero it is my job to know about the other countries buisness. And of course people you love are cute when they blush! It's a symbol they love you! Also...HAHA! I TOOK HIM TO A FANCY RESTAURANT! IT WAS SOOO FANCY I EVEN WORE A SUIT! SO YOU CAN ALL SUCK ON THAT!(I also made sure that it wasn't French...he gets pissed at me when I give him French cuisine...)

Arthur's TOTALLY HEROIC BOYFRIEND,

America~!

P.S. My schools teach it, at least most do. If hers doesnt that's the presidents problem. And no, I haven't personally tried to help her. Arthur told me that if I wanted her to actually be good at it I should stay far away...I think I know it quite well...but Spain always tells me to just speak English...I suppose I could get her a tutor...A FEMALE TUTOR! Don't need her getting cozy with some strange man...

* * *

What the hell was that? :/ Seriously, what the hell was that?

Sh-shut-up! There's no work to be done, because we're not in a Goddamn relationship! Jesus Christ, every single one of your kids has thought that, and now I know why! Goddammit! And you're too freaking nosy for your own good! I'm surprised you haven't been shot yet... ... Now you're going to write back saying you've been shot multiple times, aren't you?

Wait... Blush... Love... O/ / / /O *headdesks* I haaate yoooou.

P.S. YOU'RE a strange man.

* * *

**So blunt when insulting others, yet he keeps dodging his feelings... Don't worry, he's gonna stop soon. As soon as SOMEONE types up his letter to Spain. That's right, I'm talking to you over there. F( I kid, I kid... But seriously, do it. **


	60. England III

**This one's from dogsrule again~ I think I'm part of a network now with her and MsKasuten... Am I? *shrugs***

**Disclaimer: Do I REALLY have to do this every chapter?**

* * *

Dear Romano,

First off are you implying that I have some mental problem? *glare*

And don't worry about smacking him with a pistol. If he does try I'LL be the one to smack him. But you can have the second hit if you want.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. I tried a new spell to improve my cooking so I send you some of the scones I created with it.

* * *

Dear England,

Skipping this was oh so tempting after you sent me that plate of death. My cat ate some of it, and I had to take him to the vet's to get his fricking stomach pumped! You owe me $600 now, bastard.

Moving on, I heard that things went... Surprisingly well. He even wore a suit?

Signed,

Romano

P.S. I'm serious about you owing me $600. Giovanni almost died!

* * *

**For the record, Giovanni is the name I have bestowed upon Romaneko from the Catalia strips. Anyone get the reference in that name? Anyone at all? **


	61. Belarus III

**Yipes... Belarus again... DX *hides with Ivan* Thanks Buttons and Ribbons! **

**Disclaimer: *hisses at lawyers* Back! No own! Shoo!**

* * *

Прывітання,

I've started to ignore him... and it's working... I don't know why I hadn't thought of it before.. but thank you very much, perhaps he'll bother that blonde who wears skirts.

..штраф. I will not say he raped me.

I've befriended... that German nation... Prussia, wasn't it? I'm not sure if I should call it 'befriended'. He introduced me to his friends. The disgusting snail-eating one keeps hitting on me. The other one is your boyfriend, isn't he? The one that reeks of tomatoes. It's a horrendous smell. He doesn't stop talking about you. I wish brother would talk about me like the way Spain talks about you.. it's so romantic. I wish brother was romantic towards me!

Anyway, I don't have much of a choice now, Prussia won't let me leave, even with my threats. I guess America and England are safe for now..

I guess that means I will be seeing you more often. It's not like airport security can stop a nation, can they? No, they can't. Especially not me. Prussia told me I was 'awesome', if I do recall;

'You're pretty awesome, but not as awesome as me, of course!'

Yes, it was something like that..

Рэспубліка Беларусь.

* * *

Ciao,

You mean the gender confused hermaphrodite? Yeah, maybe. *shrugs*

... The pervy bastard you can stab. Repeatedly. Yeah, stab him. A-and why does everyone think that! J-just because I visit his house a lot and I'm friends with him doesn't mean anything! Hell, he's barely my-! He doesn't...? -/- F-fucking creeper...

Yeah... Guess so. Well, if you do get caught, don't kill anyone. It's a crap load of paper work for me and Veneciano to fill out when that happens.

Signed,

Romano

* * *

**Poland fans, please don't flame me for that wonderful comment of Romano's up there! XD I had him call Poland that in an RP once, and... It didn't end well for the meeting. At all. Also, as for translations... Screw that. You've got internets, look it up yourselves.**


	62. Swissy II

**Yay! Skadiyoko's back as Swissy! Also, Buttons and Ribbons, Ivan needs a Belarus and you're more than welcome to take the job. ^-^**

**Disclaimer: Damn copyright laws...**

* * *

Dear Romano,

Thank you, Lily dosn't need to see any of that. And don't worry about France, he's only been in my house about four times total, and I only let him in when Lily wasn't here. I don't even want him looking at her. If that damned Frenchman ever touches her, well, lets just say your mafia dosn't have shit on me...

Ah, I apologize. I didn't mean to lose my temper, but Liechtenstein's protection is my top priority. Now, how would I go about, uh, easing the strain in mine and Austria's relationship? Should I invite him over for lunch? Or would that be too, er, much? Maybe I could send him a letter? I don't know... I'm.. no good at these kinds of things... Ugh, I need to go out to the shooting range.

Switzerland

P.S.

Next time you see the Pope, give him my best, ja?

* * *

Dear Switzerland,

Hell, I don't need to see any of that... O_o Duly noted.

You could probably start by not being bitchy when you happen to see him in a public area. Er... No offense there. Wasn't Hungary his wife at one point? She might know what to do. I don't exactly have warm, fuzzy feelings for the stick up his ass aristocrat, so I tend to not talk to him if I don't have to. ... He's gonna write me a letter now, isn't he? *groans* Karma's a freaking bitch...

Signed,

Romano

P.S. Will do.

* * *

**... I need to go back and read some of these so I know what people are talking about, lol. Ah... It would be kinda funny if right after this letter goes up, we get an Austria. =w=**


	63. Italy VI

**Dogsrule again! Agh, I'm soooo tired right now... I hate school. But, Scribblenauts is fun! :D *completely offtopic***

**Disclaimer: ... No.**

* * *

Ok! I'll be sure to say hi to him when I see him!

And don't worry about Germany! I already talked to him and he said that he won't actually shove a potato down your throat! He only said that he feels like it sometimes!

Assuring you that there's nothing to worry about,

Italy Veneziano

P.S. I also suggested to Germany that you two should spend some time together to get to know each other! And he said he was willing to!

* * *

Thanks... He's been feeling a little... Depressed lately?

... That makes me feel so much better... *sarcasm*

There's more than a few things wrong with you if you think I'll ever willingly spend time with that potato sucking creep! I don't want to get to know him, nor will I ever! Tell him to go die in a ditch somewhere!

* * *

**Jeez, a bit harsh there? XD He didn't even sign this one... Romano's currently off moping in a corner as he waits for people to send letters to him in order to get his mind off a certain someone. And waits... And waits... And waits... And-**

**Romano: THEY GET IT! ! ! !**


	64. Florida VI

**Florida Tiffany as... Florida. Nice. XD**

**Disclaimer: No, but I do own my own Chibi!Romano cosplay! ... That almost ended in me getting kidnapped at ComicCon this year.**

* * *

Hah.

You, you actually fainted?

...oh, wow...so you like seriously fainted?

OMG ARE YOU OK? I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you faint, it's just that France's sent me those photos and I felt decieved and I wanted you to admit the truth - but I didn't expect this!

I'm still going to address you as Tia Lovi from now on, especially after what Feli said.

Laughing and concerned for your health,

The State of Florida, Tiffany

P.S. - I'm soooo glad it isn't burning up here, I got locked out of my house for so long. Have you ever had that happen to you?

* * *

I-I was outside! So I just got overheated is all! Although, the fact that Feliciano opened the back door into my head probably didn't help... *coughs*

Yes... I'm fine... My head's a lttle sore and I think I might have a concussion, but other than that, just peachy... ... *sighs* Not really...

What did he-? ... I'm going to kill him.

Currently off searching for one airheaded fratellino,

Romano

P.S. Yes, and it's annoying as hell.

* * *

**I was tempted to have him add, "No offense to Norway when I say this," at the end. Also... DX HELP ME! Ivan's threatening to purl my curl if I shank her with a straw at school for being mean! Help the poor, abused by Ivan, Romano? ;w;**


	65. Pennsylvania I

**Uh… I have an explanation. School. ^_^;;; So, yeah. This should've been done a while ago, but I just forgot, sorta… I'm sorry!**

**Disclaimer: No, but I do own a really cool camera for this documentary I'm working on for school! … Which I should be working on right now, actually.

* * *

**

Ciao Romano,

Can you help me? Erie Is really being annoying. He calls me up every day complaing about the snow here. Then he groans and blabs about how he wishes it was spring. I just wanna ship him to Sibera just to get him out my hair. HAHA, see how cold it is THERE. Hopefully it can quit his complaining.

About to send a city to Sibera,

Pennsylvannia (Christen Jones)

* * *

Ciao, Pennsylvannia.

Believe me, I know the feeling… -_- Of the annoyingness, not the whole snow thing.

Maybe you could try to find something to keep him occupied? Like, get together a bunch of your cities and start a huge snowball fight or some shit like that. I dunno. And if that doesn't work, there's always duct tape.

Anyway, quick question. How ADD is this city? Because if he's spastic enough, distracting him won't be too hard. Just drop him off at one of his sibling's houses or something with a twister mat. That usually keeps Feliciano busy for at least a few hours…

Good luck with your annoying ass problem,

Romano

* * *

**So, thanks for sending in a letter! But seriously, duct tape works for that kind of crap. Just stick it over someone's mouth and they're pretty much quiet. XD**


	66. New Prussia II

**Still at school~ "orz I have so much to catch up on with this… But, that's probably a good thing, lol.**

**Disclaimer: No own, but- Holy crap! My Japan's sitting next to me playing a first person shooter game and freaking out every time he shoots someone! It's funny!**

* * *

Dear Romano,

Ok, so I took away the drugs without being seen That's good... He's getting better.

Also, do you think you can tell Uncle Alfred to STOP FUCKING IGNORING MY DAD. Seriously, I think he's about 75 percent of my dad's "Invisibility" problem.

Oh yeah, before I forget, do you know what's going on between Gilbert and my Dad?

Sincerely,

New Prussia also known as Bella Williams

P.S. King of Prussia is my older cousin.

* * *

Dear New Prussia,

Glad to hear it. I think he's started to realize that people do notice him, though.

*facepalm* Wow. I knew America was an idiot, but I didn't think that he was an asshole, too. … Wait, never mind about that. I kinda already figured that out. Don't worry, I'll be sure to pass on the message.

Nope, can't say I do. But whatever it is, I don't like it… Albino bastard's part of the Bad Touch Trio for a reason, dammit.

Signed,

Romano

* * *

**Yeah, trying to get back into the swing of things, pretty much. And since I'm home now, back to using crappy NotePad... Anyone know the code thing for Microsoft Word? If I don't put it in, I can't use the damn thing, and it suuuuucks.**


	67. Puerto Rico I

**Uh... This is way overdue... ^_^;;; Er, sorry...? At least I didn't dissappear for a month, right? Right? "orz... **

***has a spaz attack* HOLY CRAP! This appeared in a C2! I have no idea which one, but hey! I don't care!**

**Disclaimer: I'll own this the day I own the empire state building. (should I capitalize that...?)**

* * *

Querido Romano,

¿Te acuerdas de mí? Have you been treating Papa nicely?

Probably not, you little runt.

Kidding! Kidding! But seriously, everything good? I'm stuck with the molesto cabra and I wish I could shove one of his burgers down his throat.

But he would probably enjoy it. Hn.

Anyway, perhaps we could see each other? A drink?

Unless you are still mad about the whole shoving-pasta-in-your-face thing(But mi amigo, we were kids).

Tu amigo,

Puerto Rico/Vicente Santiago

P. Costa Rica says to me, "Una manzana al día mantiene alejado al médico.". But I know you prefer tomatoes.

* * *

Vicente...? I really didn't expect to hear from you. And yes, I remember you, you little punk. Why the hell did you even _do_ that in the first place?

I suppose you could say that... Or not. I'm a little confused about the tomato bastard, and it's driving me insane! Anyway, a drink sounds nice; just make sure that we don't end up somewhere the Bad Touch Trio likes to go. Worst. Mistake. EVER. Especially when England happens to show up...

... Sucks to be you, then. Have fun at his birthday barbecue. *smirks*

Signed,

Romano

P.S. Well, they are sometimes called love apples...

* * *

**Holy... Crap... T^T China and Italy showed up on my doorstep, let themselves into my house and woke me up with a spray bottle, then proceeded to drag my ass out of bed, dress me, put make up on me, then took my picture and sent it everyone else in our group who's numbers they have. They painted. My nails. FFFFFFF-! Io ti odio, you two!**


	68. New Zealand I

**Guys, I love you all so much, but I still hate China and Italy right now. THEY USED WATERPROOF SHIT. B| Anyway, over 100 reviews~~~ YES! I never thought this story would make it that far...**

**Disclaimer: I would say "when Hell freezes over", but I'm pretty sure that happens every winter. Ask Norway about it; he'll tell you.**

* * *

Kia Ora, Romano!

How are ya, mate? Good, i hope. I Wanted to ask you if it would seem too violent if I told Amerika that if he hurts Ingarangi, I will crush his skull. I'm asking, because after the fucking Pervy Paranihi tried to test his shitty nukes in the south pacific back in '85, Ingarangi told me it wasn't the best idea to threaten nations who are bigger and stronger then me (it worked, though!)

OMG! It's 2011, and it's the rugby world cup and I'm going to crush all of you northern bastaaards'!

No offemce, or anything, mate.

Well done at the FIFA world cup, by the way. Just going to say, but you and your brother are fucking scary when it comes to football! I'm just happy I didn't lose any games, even if I din't win any either. Give my congrat's to Spain!

Cheers,

Pipi Kirkland,

New Zealand

* * *

Ciao, New Zealand.

Um... Just, just a tad. And I don't thing brow bastard would appreciate you threatening his boyfriend. Besides, America's an idiot, but he does care about England.

Heh, we'll see about that. Although, I've got the feeling that burger bastard's gonna be in for hell if he goes up against you. And thanks; I'll be sure to tell him next time I talk to him.

Signed,

Romano

* * *

**I had to make sure to do my RWC research for this one so I didn't say something really stupid... X'D **


	69. Canada IV

**Ah, my little sis is such a dork... And soooo very computer challenged. She's worse than I am with technology, and that's saying something. *spent thirty minutes trying to figure out how to work the Spanish II teacher's microwave one day. Japan had to help me***

**Disclaimer: No, but I do own a bunch of pesos for some reason... *never been out of the country***

* * *

Dear Romano,

I guess you're right. There still are people who know who I am, and care about me. God bless my little Bella, and you too, Romano. I don't know what I would've done without you two.

As for what my neighbour read, well... "Italy has a diversified economy, which is divided into a developed industrial north, dominated by private companies, and a less-developed, welfare-dependent, agricultural south, with high unemployment." Don't be sad; I got bashed for legalizing pot. Humans can be so mean when they're talking about us, can't they?

And, um, well, I would like to ask... I have a fr-friend... a quiet, unnoticeable type of person who is NOT ME... and my friend (WHO IS NOT ME) f-for some reason s-started thinking a lot about this cool, outgoing guy he/she/it knows... like, A LOT. Disturbing thoughts like what kind of underwear he wears and h-how he would look shirtless. A-and he/she/it has been getting kind of... possessive of this guy. Um... is that healthy? o.o

Extremely worried,

Canada

* * *

Dear Canada,

I-it's nothing... Just don't do anything else stupid, got it? -/- Weird ass Canadian... And put your damn polar bear on a leash! The thing tried to take a chunk out of my leg the other day for some stupid reason...

... No comment.

*sighs* Canada...? You suck at the whole lying thing. When you keep denying that it isn't you when I haven't even said anything, it makes it extremely obvious that it is you. And, kinda sorta, I guess...? I mean, when you like someone, it's completely normal to do those sorts of things, but it's when you start stalking them that you need to worry. A lot.

Signed,

Romano

* * *

**Romano: *in his emo corner after being reminded by Canada about the south's economy* TT^TT||||**

**Me: I think I'ma need a new Prussia, since the current one isn't likely to write back again anytime soon. That, and he supports PruAus instead of PruCan. ^_^;;; I'll ask him. Yes, him. My friends are amazing. Anyway... *pokes Romano with a stick***

**Romano: ... Review...**

**Me: ... *goes to find some tomatoes for him* It'll make Romano feel better about his shitty economy!**

**Romano: """orz**


	70. Mia I

**There's a cricket in my room that won't shut up, and I can't find the damn thing! It's driving me nuts with the incessant cricket noises! It's just going... Chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp- *slapped* Ow. It's worse than the fucking 10 minute Pierre challenge on YouTube! ! ! !**

**Disclaimer: No, but I do own a very nice fly swatter of doom if that cricket doesn't shut the fuck up!**

**

* * *

**

Dear Romano,

Your one of my favorite characters! I'm Italian, though I was born in America, and I believe some of my ancestors came from the both parts! It would explain why I feel like I inherited your cursing.. I do it ALL the time when I'm pissed..  
Anyways, I have a problem and I was hoping you could help. I have this friend and I feel like she might only be talking to me when needed. She'll moan for hours about this guy she likes but will barely listen to me when I have a problem. What can I do?

Sincerely,

Mia

P.S. My name is Italian. ^^

* * *

Dear Mia,

Heh, thanks. And it's not surprising that you ancestors came from both parts; it's actually pretty common, especially now.  
That's pretty douchey of her. Have you considered trying to give her a taste of her own medicine, or explaining how you feel? It doesn't really sound like this girl gets the whole concept of "friendship". If she doesn't start listening to you after you explain how you feel about the whole one sided problem listening... thing... Then you should probably just tell her to fuck off until she can stop acting like a leech and actually put some effort into being a friend.

Signed,

Romano

* * *

**Well, 's being stupid and giving me a processing error, so I'm having to go back through old documents saved on here to put this up. Oh, Romano's still in his emo corner, and poking him with a stick got old fast. So... Review and make him feel better? And I kinda sound a little bit crazy up at the top, don't I? Just... Just a little...**


	71. Lithuania VI

**And, I'm back! I'm not even supposed to be on here, so shh...**

**Disclaimer: If I owned, I wouldn't be sneaking on to write this, would I?**

* * *

Sveiki,

Oh, that's okay! It's better to be forgotten than abused, right? I wish Russia would forget me. And that creept teenage girl that shows up at his house sometimes. She's strange. She blushes at me, and than goes on her merry way beating me down! DX

England, maybe?

Oh, gosh... I read her letters. I love her so much, though...

Pagarbiai,

Toris Laurinaitis

P.S. Who said it was...?

* * *

Ciao.

I didn't forget, just... Couldn't find it. And is it the same girl that threatened me to start writing these? She said that if I didn't, she'd not only pull my freaking curl, which is fucking creepy, but sic Russia on me... And that would mean Belarus would attack me as well! I don't wanna die, dammit!

No shit.

Signed,

Romano

* * *

**Somehow, Ivan and I got into a conversation about curls today. And guess who shows up and threatens me! That's right, France the fuck face! DX I'm screeeewed...**


	72. Iowa I

**I think I'm finally catching up with the letter's I have to finish! Also, dogsrule, I don't know if I said this or not, but feel free to use Romano's lines from the whole Valentine's day fiasco.**

**Disclaimer: How many freaking chapter have I said it now? ! HOW MANY? !**

* * *

Romano,

Greetings. This is Iowa. I've heard you've been giving advice, and I need some...well, more like an honest opinion. Is it really so hard to tell me and my siblings who live near me apart? Sure, our houses are somewhat alike, but we are quite different.

Tired of being called Nebraska,

Iowa

P.S. I've been considering trying to grow tomatoes this year, instead of the usual corn and soybeans. Any pointers?

* * *

Dear Iowa,

Well, considering I've never met most of your siblings, I wouldn't really know... And as for the tomatoes, you might want to make sure that they get a lot of strong, direct sunlight. Also, they love heat. So, placing down plastic on top of the soil before you plant them to let it heat up helps. The bottom leaves are usually the ones that develop fungus first, so once the plants are about 3' tall, remove the leaves from 1' foot down.

Another thing is make sure to water them regularly. If you don't, it usually leads to end blossom rot and cracking. But once the fruit begins to ripen, lessening the amount of water given will get them to concentrate the sugars they use into the fruit. But, if you withhold it too much, the plant will wilt or drop its blossoms and possibly fruit. Not fun.

Signed,

Romano

* * *

**... I... Am a TERRIBLE AMERICAN. I actually had to look on a map to make sure that Nebraska was near Iowa. And then I was thinking, "Huh, it's shaped different than I thought." ... I'd been thinking of Nevada the whole time. *fail!* The bright side is (I think) I actually already knew all that stuff about tomatoes up there! ... I'm pathetic, I know. "orz**


	73. New York II

**Ugh... Sick again... I hate you Ivan! Take General Winter home with you already, dammit! Also, YaoYao and Feli (nicknames for my China and Italy) have decided to be asses and bug the ever loving crap out of me while I'm sick instead of going to the parades.**

**Disclaimer: I'll own this when Russia doesn't want China to become one with Mother Russia. Or anyone else for that matter.**

* * *

Hey, dude!

Ummm, yeah, you didn't get my second letter, did ya? Hah, the mail system's a bitch...

Anyway. Sorry ta 'bout your boss. And I heard Giovanni ate some o' England's "food". Is he ok now? God I feel so bad for him... And yes, as one of the "original thirteen" I have had English food. Thankfully, it wasn't made by England himself, since I was born after the revolution. I think that's how my taste buds survived...

That and immagration gave me a sense of taste. Seriously, thank God for immagration. Speaking of which, there've been alot o' Ukrainians up hear lately. I don't mind, but I was a bit dissapointed the women didn't all look like their country's personification. Ah, well, what's ta be done? And thanks for sayin' you'd give some recipies! And the advice! I got a date! I tried tellin' Dad about it, but I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm dating a lake...

-T.J. The State of New York

* * *

Ciao, T.J.

Yeah, he's fine now. Back to his usual ornery, beating the crap out of Spain's cat for whatever reason self. Still, brow bastard's paying me back for the stomach pumping he needed, dammit! Cause really, Feliciano and I can't afford to waste any money! Not that he can either, but still!

Isn't all English food the same, bland, horribly prepared crap? But, yeah, I guess that would help. Both of those things. But... No comment about that bit about Ukraine.

Why would he...? You know what, never mind. It's America; I can understand how that would happen now.

Signed,

Romano

* * *

**Pfft... Just as I was writing this, Hamburger Street came on my IPod (which I do not own the rights to). And also... THE FULLY SUBBED MOVIE IS OUT! ! ! ! ! *runs off to go watch it***


	74. New Prussia III

**Me: Before I start getting angry inbox spams for not updating this like I should-**

**Romano: Don't flatter yourself there.**

**Me: Stai zitto! At least I'm not sick as fuck like you and Italy are liable to be if your shitty economy keeps up!**

**Romano: -! ! !**

**Me: ... Too harsh...?**

**Romano: *glares* Thank you Captain Obvious.**

**Me: You're welcome Sergeant Sarcastic. Anyway, no own.**

* * *

Oh. My. God.

I'm so effing pissed right now. You wont believe what happened! Today while Dad was gone Uncla Alfred cam over to Canada and played the American Anthem on FULL BLAST.

Let's just say I'm not happy. Not happy at all. In fact I'm going to need to have a chat with him.

Sincerely Pissed,

New Prussia also known as Bella Williams

* * *

Damn. I knew he was an insensitive loud mouthed idiot, but that... *shakes head in disbelief* Try not to kill him, as hard as it may be. Brow bastard'd probably get pissed, and he still supports a lot of the world trade.

Signed,

Romano

* * *

**... I think the Author's note is longer than the actual chapter this time... ""orz**


	75. Italy VII

**I've gott say, Gamefreak has really outdone themselves this time. Pokemon Black and White? Simply AMAZING. The only reason I'm not playing it right now is to update for you people. Don't you feel special now~?**

**Disclaimer: I own none of the material mentioned in this story. Except for a copy of both Black and White. Suck it, YaoYao! XD**

* * *

Vee~! That's not good! I hope talking to him make him feel better!

Yay! That made you feel better!

And why wouldn't you try and hang out with Germany? I'm sure you two could become friends if you tried!

Hoping you two become friends!,

Italy Veneziano

* * *

... Do you not understand the meaning of sarcasm? At all?

Feliciano Vargas, I keep telling you, over and over, it's NOT gonna happen. Regardless of that bastard saving me from getting raped by France the fuck face.

Signed,

Romano

* * *

**I had to go back two of your letters to figure out what the hell you were talking about. ^_^;;;**


	76. Swissy III

**Listening to World Ondo as I type. And there's this Japanese couple on my block that actually SPEAKS Japanese, and they heard me singing Romano's Delicious Tomato Song... And they asked if I knew what I was saying. I repeated to them, word for word, the translation. I feel so proud!**

**Disclaimer: I'll own Hetalia the day Belarus stops trying to stab people.**

* * *

Dear Romano,

I can understand how, uh, unapprochable Roderich can be, but when you've known him as long as I have, it's easy to see through his defences. His music says all you need to know.

I'd rather not talk to Hungary about this. Even though they're divorced, she gets overly protective of Roderich... and I would rather not be on the end of her frying pan (as I refuse to hit women), that can be saved for Prussia. Nor would I like to be on the other end of her damned camera! I'm sure you know what I'm talking about...

I think I'm going to send him some hand made chocolate. I'll tell you how it goes later.

Switzerland

* * *

Dear Switzerland,

That's probably a good idea. She's the same way with Feli, only in a more motherly(?) sort of way. It's fucking creepy to see her coo at and cuddle him.

YES. That Goddamned frying pan of hers... How the hell does that count as a lethal weapon? ! And I know what you mean, though not from expierence, thankfully... The most I've caught her doing was snapping pictures of tomato bastard attempting to hug me. It's not pleasant. At all. Especially when they happen to show up on HetaBook.

You do that. Hope it goes well for you.

Signed,

Romano

* * *

**Yes, HetaBook. Because Facebook just doesn't cut it for me anymore. XD**

**I do not own Facebook, by the way. That... Zuckerman guy or whatever his name is does. **


	77. Florida VII

**Pfft... Apparently, Canada hates the way Alfred's voice sounds when he sings, and Alfred not only knows he's sexy, he's not afraid to say it.**

**Disclaimer: Nyeh. :P**

* * *

Dear Tia Lovi,

Why were you outside? Oh were you tending your tomato garden too~?

I heard that you'll be visiting Papa soon, tell Espana I said hi. How's he doing by the way, haven't got to talk to him since a whiile ago. Oh, when you do see him ask him if he thinks that Philip the second did more harm than good as an absolute monarch.

Please don't kill Tia Feli! He's too...silly and cute!

But don't worry, you're adorable~! From what Papa said, you have the cutest adorable tomato blush. ^.^-

Currently enjoying her weekend with a side of sore throat,

The State of Florida, Tiffany

P.S. - I give tomatoes now.

* * *

Dear needs to knock it off with the nickname,

Yeah, sure. I-it wasn't like I forgot the keys inside or anything like that!

Actually, I haven't seen him either... Though, he did go drinking with his two dumbass rapist friends. And I got shot in the head with Gilbird when I went to make sure that they didn't destroy anything. Stupid ass Prussian...

Excuse me while I go hunt down my idiot Spaniard and give him a little taste of my Napolitan Tornado...

Signed,

Romano

* * *

**That's Romano's special attack, by the way. Also, to Ivan's readers, she's on temporary hiatus until she gets caught up on her work, so don't give up hope on Liet's letters!**


	78. Rhode Island IX

**And... Fanfic's being an ass, so if these updates are super duper not even funny late, I apologize.**

**Disclaimer: Y'know, one day I will rule the world, and when that day comes, I'm beating those damn lawyers asses with Ivan's pipe. Cause she'll have one by then, I guarantee it.**

* * *

Dear Romano,

What, you think I hadn't grasped that already? I'm certainly not

oblivious.

Eh. Whenever one of my siblings bug me, I tell 'em off right then and there. No one messes with me. France still has scars from when he first tried. And yet the bastard just won't give up...maybe if I take a pair of pruning shears to his hair or throw him to one of my pet sharks...

It must be from all my southern Italian residents. Everyone else just seems foolish.

And it'll be great! I'd never invite you to something boring.

With Love and Hope

Rachael Williams-Jones

The State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations

* * *

Dear Rachael,

You... Have pet sharks? O-o;;;

**

* * *

Yeah, this is like... The shortest reply in the history of replies, methinks. I just thought it'd be kinda funny to leave it at that. Plus, I couldn't really think of anything else to put. *brain dead***


	79. Spain VII

**This letter took sooooo long to come in! DX I thought that we lost our Spain for this, dammit! I'm glad you didn't abandon me, Ms Kasuten... TwT ... Wow. I sound pathetic.**

**Disclaimer: You know what? Forget this crap! I'm going on strike! *gets handed striking schedule* DAMMIT!**

* * *

LOVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

LO SIENTO! LO SIENTO! POR FAVOR, PERDÓNAME! TE QUIERO TANTO!

I'm sorry for not replying, lo siento mucho! Things have been hectic and.. yeah... I don't really have much to say...

B-But! That doesn't mean we can't talk, sí? I'll phone you tonight! Podemos tener sexo por teléfono~ Fusosososo!

Te amo mucho, mi tomate! Te amo con todo mi corazón~!

Su seme,

España~

P.S You can tell I've rushed this because of Español, sí? Hahaha, lo siento, mi Lovi. Te amo, I quieres que tu virginidad~

* * *

Goddammit, bastard, I thought you were avoiding me or something! Hmph...

B-but I understand... Your economy is still shit, huh?

Yeah, yeah, whatever... I still don't understand a word you're saying, what with you speaking so much idiot at one time. But, c-call me if you want. It's not like I want you to though! S-so don't even go thinking something so incredibly stupid like that!

... Did you just make a comment about me being a virgin? B-because I'm so definitely not, dammit! I mean, I'm _Italian,_ of course I've had s-sex before.

Signed,

Lovino

P.S. What the hell is a seme?

* * *

**I'm tempted to have Romano reply in only Italian, just to mess with Spain, who probably can't speak it. x3**


	80. Syria I

**Hey, we've got a new person! Say hello to Neo-byzantium as Syria.**

**Disclaimer: Ha! There is none for this chapter! *gets chased by lawyers***

* * *

Hey there,

So you're accepting letters too, eh Romano? I can't imagine that you're doing this willingly given your personality from what Turkey told me about you and what I've seen of you at World Conferences...

Anyways, how are you? Have you had good tomato growing seasons as of late? I'll admit that I like tomatoes, they're quite tasty. Has your little brother been driving you up the wall as of late? I can imagine that you're aggravated by him on a regular basis given his space cadet behavior and your tsundere attitude...

Just remember though that you're lucky that your brother's a nice guy. My brother Iraq acts like a real jerkwad on a regular basis and we bicker frequently (though I'll admit that I'm somewhat of a jerk myself especially to Israel and America).

On a different note, I don't blame you for not liking France, I don't like him either. He's always trying to score with the other nations and acted like a shameless flirt to those under his rule, believe me. If I had a dollar for every time he flirted with me during the time when he administered my territory, I'd be a very rich man... /shudders/.

Speaking of France, I've been trying to convince your brother not to go to his house but he won't listen! He's quite naive, it's a wonder he's survived for so long... /sweatdrops/

However, I'm puzzled as to why you don't like Germany. He seems like an alright guy even if he is somewhat anti-social and has a certain intimidating demeanor to him...

Well, I gotta go now, talk to you later.

Syria

P.S: We seem to have quite a bit in common you and I. We're both loud mouthed and tend to act on impulse far too often plus we're reluctant to show that we care for our respective siblings...

* * *

Dear Syria,

T-Turkey...? Friiiick... He'd better not start sending me letters, dammit.

**I'M NOT TSUNDERE! **And yes, Feliciano's been driving me nuts, as has his bastard potato. Speaking of him, I don't like him because... I just don't, ok! Besides, his food's disgusting, anyway.

Wow, that's... That's creepy. I swear, the guy's an even bigger pedophile rapist than Spain, and the only reason for that is because he doesn't try to hide it! Ugh... I wonder if I can get Hungery to bean him in the head a couple dozen times if I tell her that he molested my brother. That might work...

Tell me about it... I had to tell him about ten times before he finally got it, plus a bunch of other nations and people, too! I'm really starting to question if there's just pasta in that head of his instead of a brain. Or if he's just mentally retarded or something.

Signed,

Romano

P.S. I'm not loudmouthed. I'm just not afraid to say what I think.

* * *

**Me: ... Turkey should definitely start sending in letters now. Just because Romano said that. Because his luck's that crappy, and I'm that mean.**

**Romano: You're a bitch.**

**Me: And you bottom.**


	81. Charice I

**Another newbie! For this story, anyway. Wait a sec... All these people are from dogsrule's story! Wow. We really are a network, lol.**

**Disclaimer: ...**

* * *

Dear Romano (is that your name?),

I heard from some other nations that you were raised by Spain! Is that true? That's so cool, cause me and my brother were raised by Spain as well! How was he with you? Did he give you a lot of love~? Does he like you~?

Oh wait...oh yeah, he already does! Whoops XD

Anyway, I wanted to write to you as fellow former colonies of Spain! I hope we can be good friends!

From,

Charice (The Outer Islands of the Republic of the Philippines)

PS- There's a rumor going around that you're secretly in love with Germany. Can you clear that up with me?

* * *

Dear Charice,

Romano's my nation name. So, technically it's my name, but not. And yeah, I was raised by Spain. A lot of his former colonies have been writing to me lately...

Me... And... WHAT KIND OF FUCKED UP RUMOR IS THAT SHIT? ! NO! HELL NO! THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN! EVER! Besides, I already love S- IGNORE THAT!

* * *

***snaps fingers* Damn, so close. He's getting closer, though! xD**


	82. Savannah I

**And it's an old friend~ Writing in as Savannah. You need to e-mail me that story you wanted beta'd.**

* * *

Dear Mr. Romano,

my name is savannah, its a pleasure to write to some one as cool as you! I notice you have been writeing to my mamen, the state of louisanna so i decided to write to you! i hope thats ok? What kind of fruit do you like besides tomato? i like oranges!

love,

savannah

* * *

Dear Savannah,

It's nice to write to you, too. And it's fine, I don't mind at all. ... I guess I like bananas.

Signed,

Romano

**

* * *

Yeah, he's nervous about Acadia coming after him with a meat clever, so he's being careful when talking to her kid, lol. I just said bananas cause of that one comic strip with Spain and Austria and the random banana thing. **


	83. Peru I

**Nope, it's not illegal at all~ dogsrule is actually this story's England as well as Italy, so...**

**Disclaimer (n): The thing I forgot last chapter which says that I don't own Hetalia.**

* * *

Napaykullayki Senor Romano,

I heard from Spain that you were replying to letters we send you and other fun stuff. I am currently stuck in Chile's house (that sh*thead) and he refuses to let me go to work or walk home at night without an escort. He says my llama Capac doesn't count as an escort, the bastard. Chile is the most annoying son of a b*tch of a brother I've ever had the misfortune of being landed with! I can't decide who I hate more, him or Ecuador, but they both hang out with Argentina so much it makes me want to cut their hearts out with a sacrificial knife. Oh wait, that's what Mexico's ancestors did. Sorry.

Panama and Colombia (very good friends of mine) have started dating and Chile has decided to make it his responsibility to give me the Talk. What the hell. I may appear young, but I've been around for more than 400 years. Damn that a**hole, who does he think I am, a baby? And for the record, Pisco Sour was the invention of MY people, not HIS!

The f*ckhead.

If I slip poison into his food no one will notice, right?

Muchas gracias,

Huayna Capac (Peru)

P.S.: If this letter makes it to you all crumpled and wrinkly, it's because my stupid brother tried to stop me from mailing it. Damn it, he's found me. sendmybestregardstoSpai

* * *

Dear Peru,

Brother problems, huh? Y'know, he'd probably leave you alone if you pretended to not mind his weirdness. In fact, it might freak him out into staying away from you. It works on shitty brothers, and also shitty potato bastards.

... Damn. I just remembered I have to have the "talk" with Feliciano. He's never had it. Ever. And it's my job to give it to him, just like I had to do with all my other siblins, since I'm the oldest. Cue awkwardness... Anyway, hopefully Chile'll stop bugging you. You could always hit him with a paintball grenade. *snickers*

Yeah, people'll notice. I think they'll definitely notice if an entire freaking country suddenly dies and disappears.

Signed, Romano

P.S. Next time you see Mexico, tell him he can go screw himself. Oh yeah, and that Spain's interested in me. Not him.

**

* * *

Me: Romano's jealous of Mexico~**

**Romano: Am not, dammit!**

**Me: Are too, and shut up before I make you say you love potatoes.**

**Romano: *shuts up***


	84. Canada V

**Hey there everyone! Lili and RayRay's back as Canada. I've got so many to catch up on for this…**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Hetalia, I wouldn't be getting molested by my damn Italy all the time. Or have Spain pull my curl at 7 am at school.**

* * *

Dear Romano,

Please don't be depressed! It's not like you're the only nation with economic issues! I hear England is bailing out Ireland is bailing out France is bailing out Spain is bailing out Greece is bailing out England or something to that effect. So please don't be sad, I'd say you're better off than a lot of other countries right now (like my brother. 14 trillion dollars in debt). Smile a little...

I-I told P-P-Papa about my, uh, friend a-and now h-he won't s-stop making fun of me! H-he dragged m-me to E-Europe to h-hang o-o-out w-with the B-Bad Touch Tri-Trio... B-but th-that's T-TERRIBLE! Papa and Spain I am quite happy with, b-but I'm so scared that I-I'll d-do something w-w-weird in fr-front of P-P-P-P-P-Prus-s-s-s-s-ssia-a and then he'll th-th-think I'm a l-loser a-and then - oh I don't want to think about it, I'm so scared...

Hey, since I'll be heading over there, do you want to meet up for lunch sometime? I can't bring tomatoes past customs, sorry, but Tim Hortons chili is yummy and it's got tomatoes in it... I hope that counts. :D

Cheers,

Canada

P.S.: I couldn't stop that darn beer ad from airing. Now every time I hear "Molson's. Made from Canada" I die a little bit inside.

* * *

Dear Canada,

Thanks, Canada. I guess I feel a little bit better. But… Telling France anything to do with love is a bad idea. Very bad. Especially if his friends are involved. And don't worry, Prussia's a bastard and an idiot, but he's not like that. He's not gonna think you're a loser if you do something stupid. Hell, he does stupid crap all the time, like sending Feliciano paint grenades.

Sure, that sounds great. And don't worry about it, it's fine. I actually don't like chili too much… Bad experience.

Ciao,

Romano

P.S. I can see why… Pfft…

* * *

**Oh God... xD I'm looking that beer add up now. Review?**


	85. Pennsylvania II

**Pennsylvannia again! I'm working on this in Atomic Age, lol. My teacher thinks I'm working.**

**Disclaimer: I'm writing fanfiction in school. What do you think?**

* * *

Ciao Romano,

He shut up when some good weather came,and complained when it came back(I threw a 6 inch snowball at him.). I tried the duck tape, but he ran as fast as Feli to Pittsburgh's house. At least he isn't annoying me anymore. I'm gonna keep a roll of duck tape with me, so that if anyone annoys me i'll tape their fricken mouth shut.

Love,

Pennsylvannia (Christen Jonea)

* * *

Ciao Pennsylvannia,

Wow. That's a big snowball. At least Spring's here now, so the snow should stop. Now you just have to worry about flooding from all the snow melt. Joy, huh?

As fast as… Damn. I didn't think it was possible for another person to be as fast as him. And that's good, little brothers are annoying as hell…

Signed,

Romano

P.S. You know what they say. Silence is golden… But duct tape is silver.

* * *

**Best. Quote. Ever. Right up there. *points***


	86. Moscow I

**Hey, a new face! Yay! … Wow, I just realized that I sound really really nice in my A/Ns. **

**Disclaimer: Yea-no. Not even a little bit.**

* * *

Привет Южной Италии (Hello South Italy),

I asked your brother, so now I want to ask you, da. What can I do so that people don't judge me for what my Папа (Papa) has done? Also, do you have any advice on how to ask Switzerland out? I really like him, da, but his sister is a Сука (Bad Word) to me! I swear, I feel like sending Auntie Belarus on her sometimes, da, I'd love that.

With chocolate & Vodka,

Moscow

PS: You like tomatoes, da? I'll remember that next time. For now, I send you a tomato-shaped pillow and some pasta. Hope you enjoy it, da!

* * *

Ciao Moscow,

For a second I thought that Russia was writing in to me… God, don't do that… A-anyway, you'll just have to show that you're not like him. Eventually people will realize that and stop being scared. Although, it may also be that they're afraid of what Russia might do to them should they upset you. That pipe of his is not something I wanna be on the end of, dammit!

But… Switzerland's actually been writing to me about how to ask Austria out… Wait, Lichtenstein…? … I have a hard time imagining her being anything but sweet, although if Switzerland is involved, it's slightly more plausible… Ugh, my head hurts now. It's like trying to imagine Feliciano not being a total wimp. It only hurts your brain.

Signed,

Romano

P.S. Grazie. The pasta was actually pretty good, as was the chocolate. However… I'm gonna have to skip the vodka. I'm sticking to wine. A-and it's not because it's too strong, it's just because I prefer wine!

* * *

**Keep telling yourself that, Romano. |D**


	87. Iowa II

**Iowa again~**

**Disclaimer: No, now go away.**

* * *

Romano,

Greetings again, and thank you for replying to the first letter. I suppose it's understandable that you wouldn't know my siblings, America's children very rarely communicate with countries on their own. We leave it to America to represent all of us. I just asked because being confused with Nebraska so much is quite irritating. Mostly because Nebraska is a boy, and I am a girl.

Hmm...It would seem that I should grow the tomatoes in my garden instead of in my fields, if their care is that specific. My corn is a pretty hardy plant, and doesn't need all that much attention to grow well. Besides, this would be my first time growing tomatoes, I should start small anyway.

Sincerely,

Iowa

P.S. I have also mailed with this a couple of ears of my corn. I hope you enjoy them.

* * *

Dear Iowa,

Really? I've been getting letters from a lot of them lately…

*winces* Ooh… Wow, that sucks. If it's any consolation, Austria thought Feli was a girl until his voice changed. That's a lot of centuries to be wearing a maid dress.

The stuff I told you is just so that they'll taste really good. As in, way better than normal. Spain and I grow them a lot, so we know how to take care of them. Also, you might want to be careful that it won't frost over while they're growing. It will destroy them completely.

Signed,

Romano

* * *

**Yeah, you can tell this was rushed, huh?**


	88. N Carolina I

**And another new face! Wow, that's a lot of different people now...**

**Disclaimer (v): the act of saying that something doesn't belong to you, such as me saying that I don't own Hetalia.**

* * *

Good.. Um, whatever time of day it is in Italy, Lovino. (Am I even allowed to call you that? Someone told me some nations prefer to be called by their country names. I know I don't like being called by my state name...)

I heard that you were aswering letters giving people advice. Actually, I'm really bored right now, I wouldn't say I really need help with anything.

Well, I might. I haven't been able to be really happy lately.. My brothers and sisters are being annoying, can't they go bother South Carolina? We look enough alike! Ugh.. Do you have problems with your brother? A lot? ... You don't have to answer that. Twins are annoying. ... Well, sometimes.

Uh.. Sorry for my pointless rant! C-ciao. (I really hope I can learn how to pronounce that!)

Charlotte Jones

The state of North Carolina

PS: If it means anything I really do feel better after writing this. Thank you.

* * *

Dear Charlotte,

Most nations reserve their human names for when they're in public or with people they're close to. At least, that's what I've noticed a lot of the time.

Feliciano and I actually aren't twins, no matter how alike we look. I'm about... two human years older than him. But yeah, I get what you mean. Maybe you could hint (tell them) that South Carolina's doing something fun that they should go check out, then hide out at a friend's house. I dunno.

Signed,

Romano

P.S. It's pronounced like "chow" almost.

* * *

**Has anybody else noticed that Romano's a lot nicer to the girls in his letters? And Canada? Everybody else he seems to act normal with. The nice to girls thing is canon, and you can't be mean to Canada intentionally. Unless that Canada happens to be my sister. The only reason she's Canada is because I can never remember her when talking about my family and friends. I'm such a fail big sister, lol.**


	89. Mindanao I

**Lol. This letter made me realize that just about all of Spain's colonies are pretty fucked up. I love it. Family reunions must always be interesting for him... Somebody should write that. It needs to be done now. I can't do it though cause I'm too lazy to.**

**Disclaimer: Wut? You thought I owned Hetalia? Someone's been lying to you then...**

* * *

Tito(Uncle) Romano,

Hey. You know, I don't really write letters but I'm frigging desperate! You know my Mom,Philippines,right?(Of course you do,she was Spain's colony for 333 years!) Well,thing is, SHE LIKES THAT DAMN BURGER FREAK! She'll deny it to the grave of course(She's like you that way.)but I can see it. My siblings are no help...ate Luzon actually thinks it's cute! BUT SERIOUSLY THE GUY HAS 50 KIDS! NOT TO MENTION THOSE THINGS I HEAR ABOUT HIM ON THE INTERNET!(Ok, maybe Yaoi-obsessed girls aren't a reliable source...) OK, tito maybe you could ask Grandpa Spain(Have fun with that mental image!) to give the burger-freak a well deserved halberd to the head.(fine, I'll be reasonable...just torture)Salamat.

From Mindanao

PS I am NOT a rebel It's not my fault Mom's government sucks!

* * *

Dear Mindanao,

Trust me, I've had the image of England as a grandpa in my head for a while now. Spain's not gonna bother me.

Anyway, yeah, America has a shit ton of kids. Granted, most of them are adopted, but that probably doesn't make it any less like hell. I actually think he's got more because of some of the territories... Like Puerto Rico.

... I'm not asking Spain to do that, dammit. That halberd of his is fucking scary! N-not to mention that in order for him to even go through with that sort of thing, he'd have to be really pissed at America. Ever seen Spain when he's actually angry? Just... Just run if you do. It's not pretty.

Signed,

Romano

P.S. America's already asked England out on a date, actually...

P.P.S. ... Spain really screwed up while raising all of us, didn't he?

* * *

**Thanks for sending a letter in~**


	90. Wisconsin I

**Trust me, Rosethourne, reading that accent was almost as painful as typing it for you was. ^_^;;;**

**Disclaimer: Pfft!**

* * *

Romano,

Hey dere! Dis is Wisconsin, but hey, call me Jackie! Anywho, I was jus' wondering if you knew someone who could pass a message through Russia to General Winter for me? Lemme know if you do!

Oh, and tell that brat Iowa to cool her jets already! Even if people CAN'T always tell her and Nebraska apart, at least they know she's one of the States! Honestly, a ton o' people seem to think me, Minnesota, and Michigan's UP are Uncle Matthew's kids, instead of Dad's! I mean, I know we're up north an' all, but we're Americans, too, darn it!

Anywho, thanks a bunch! Lemme know if you need any cheese or anything - I've got plenty! And hey, if ya got any tomatoes to spare, send some our way, eh? Sounds like a bunch of my siblings down south are getting colder weather than they're used ta', so us northern states are ending up with a tomato shortage! It's just gosh darn awful!

-Jaqueline Nicolet-Jones

aka, Wisconsin

* * *

Dear Jackie,

Maybe Moscow could help...?

... I think it's just the human race getting stupider for that one. And I'll be sure to let you know.

Signed,

Romano

* * *

**Yeah... He's not gonna tell her. I think. But really, people are getting dumber everyday, I swear...**


	91. Japan I

**... Holy. Crap. We've got a Japan that's kind sorta pissed off at America. Joy. |D**

**Disclaimer: Do I really have to say this? It's almost 100 chapters, I think they get the picture, dammit!**

* * *

Dear Romano-san-

I'm sorry to bother you, but there is a major issue with America. Oh kami, he drives me insane sometimes. He constantly comes over to my house without asking or calling first, eats my food, molests my DOG (and the exact reason WHY, I'll never know), and whines and complains about his relationship with England-san. Plus, the last time he was here, he nearly broke a vase from my father that costs near 50 grand in in yen (Thankfully I saved it just in time). Above all that, he's asking me for DATING advice, in which I have none whatsoever. I guess he figures with all the doujinsu I read that I have a lot of experience. Tell him that those fan-made comics are all crack, non-canonical, and just for the hell of it. Oh yeah, also tell him to leave me the hell alone.

Arigato,

Japan/Kiku Honda

* * *

Dear Japan,

Doesn't he do that to everyone he meets?

... You sure that wasn't France dressed up as America? With your dog? It's something that fucked up French bastard would do. Poor Pochi... I feel bad for him either way. *facepalms* He nearly broke something of China's. That shit's expensive and fragile and someone needs tto make an intervention for that guy.

Wow, you're really pissed. I'll be sure to tell him. Good luck.

Signed,

Romano

P.S. U-um... Feli and I are sending a care package with this. Hope you feel better soon, Japan.

* * *

**Aw~ He cares~ But how does he know the name of Japan's dog...? :/**


	92. New Jersey I

**Doing this at school. ... Again.**

**Disclaimer: No!**

* * *

Ciao Uncle!

It's me! Lil' New Jersey! Remember? A whole bunch of your people moved here way back when! (That's why MY pizza is the best out of all my siblings, nothing like the crap Papa tries to pass off as pizza!) Any who, I wanted to ask you a question about something: Stereotyping. It's what EVERYONE is doing to me, even some of my brothers and sisters! Ever since all those "reality" shows about me went on the air, everyone thinks of me as a dumbass bitch like that short midget chick with the bad spray tan on that shitty show "Jersey Shore". What the hell was her name again? Snotty? If it isn't, it should be. I mean, people already though I was polluted wasteland (damn Newark Airport), but this on top of that? I'M THE FREAKIN GARDEN STATE! It's too much. Anyway, I need some serious help with this, Uncle! I can't take it anymore!

About to tear my hair out,

New Jersey (Alyssa Figliari-Jones)

P.S. I sent a cake made by a friend of mine with the letter! I had him make it in the shape of a plate of pasta! He also has his own reality show, but unlike the assholes on the other shows, he didn't let fame go to his head! He actually cares about me and my image, which is why he's such a great friend!

* * *

Ciao Alyssa,

Yeah, I remember you. And as for stereotyping, that can be hard to deal with a lot of the time. The best thing you can do is prove to people that you're not like those idiots. I saw that show once and I was so very very very tempted to just shoot the damn TV. *eyetwitch*

A-anyway... As long as the people that matter know what you're like, it doesn't matter too much. Just ignore the assholes. And if you can't do that... *grins* They might rethink things if the have a gun pointed at their face. N-not that I'm telling you to do that! I don't like the idea of America getting on my ass about teaching his kids new things...

Signed,

Romano

P.S. Yeah, Feliciano likes to watch that show. Cake Boss, right? And, if I'm your uncle... Does that mean I'm related to America? Please, for the love of God, say no.

* * *

**Woot! Chapter 92 done and uploaded!**


	93. Manitoba I

**Doing this at school. ... Again.**

**Disclaimer: No!**

* * *

Hey romano!

You know Canada the guy you keep forgetting, yeah I'm his son Manitoba . One of his provinces! I mean come on, dads s nation and he get less attention tha I do! Smack some courage into him!

So last week, grandpa franc came to visit us! He made us wear these sailor suits so we look amour - ish. I got mitaken for a brunette chick 4 times tday! Later France even groped my ugh*blush, you know my private part and gave me a full mouth kiss. I'm still rinsing out my mouth. I don't mind Nate ( Newfoundland ) kissing ke but France! He is like bajillion years older than me! I feel raped! also grandpa England might be mad right now since yeah, I thought those two were lovers. Anyway please give me some advice,

peace out- Manitoba Miguel Williams

ps I don't look that feminine do I ?

Pps I love your pasta!

* * *

Dear Manitoba,

... I've never been so happy to have been raised by that idiot Spain in my life as I am now. *shudders* Even if both he and France are pedophiles.

Wasn't France the one that put you in that damn thing? You know what, I'm not even surprised anymore. That bastard needs to be shot. Multiple times.

As for brow bastard, just give him a few compliments or something. And since I've never seen you, I don't know if you look feminine or not.

Signed,

Romano

* * *

**That poor kid... I actually get mistaken for a boy a lot. It's annoying, especially since China and Italy think that that's a legitimate excuse to torture me with skirts and dresses and other girly shit.**


	94. Spain VIII

**... I died so much on the inside while writing this response. Seriously, I nearly DIED.**

**Disclaimer: Vaffanculo!**

* * *

Mi Lovinito,

Hola! Awww, why would I avoid you, mi querido? Are you worried about your boss? LOOOVII~~

Ahhhh, I'll write in English from now on, sí? I was just really eager to write to you.

I don't speak idiot, what're you talking about~?

Oh, lo siento, I thought you were still a virgin, with Ita-chan going on about it and everything.

He told me you want me to be your first~ How cuteeee!

Please reply!

Mucho amor,

España.

P.S. It means the one that tops in a relationship or something~ I've been talking to Japan alot recently!

* * *

Idiota Spain,

O-of course I'm not worried, dammit! I'm worried about Matthew; I can't believe you, wino, and albino got him arrested! Also, I'm not picking your sorry ass up from jail, bastard.

And of course you speak idiot, you are on- O/ / / /O;;; H-he told you that? ! I mean- Fuck! It's not true, dammit! Not at all! Feliciano's making shit up again!

...

...

...

...

You are so very lucky to be alive right now, Antonio. Now I'm going to get you out of jail JUST so I can castrate you.

* * *

**Me: Lol, Romano's still trying to be in denial, but it's slowly slipping away~**

**Romano: I hate you Feliciano.**


	95. Belarus IV

**Have I ever said how much Belarus scares me? No? Well, she does. So very very much.  
**

**Disclaimer: No, but now Spain owns a turtle that he kidnapped from the pool in my backyard.**

* * *

Прывітання,

I will save you the paperwork then... and I don't need your permission to stab someone. Especially. Yours.  
I am pretty sure you and Spain are an item, even if you deny it. You are probably just in denial, like brother. Brother has been in denial for so long, he's so shy and handsome, I wish he would stop hiding his feelings for me, I already know about them...  
You should propose to your true love. I've tried to propose to brother countless times but he is so shy, he just runs off. Anyway, if you did propose and he said yes, that means he would have to take your surname, wouldn't it? Maybe that's why brother runs away, because he wants to propose to me. Yes, I have it all figured out now.

Spain doesn't shut up about you and it's really getting on my nerves, I'm so close to stabbing him it's ridiculous. I've already tried stabbing France and Prussia, I won't hold back if he doesn't shut up.

The only reason he has survived this far is because he IS your love. I do have a heart, you know.. I wouldn't want to get in the way of someone's love. If anyone did that to brother, I'd kill them.

Marry him, marry him, marry him...

Дзякуй,

Рэспубліка Беларусь.

* * *

Ciao,

Actually, I was kinda asking if you would stab France... I'm pretty sure he's molested Russia on more than one occasion during WWII.  
Wh-why would I propose to him? ! I don't want to marry the bastard, dammit! B-besides, even if that whole surname thing is true... You know what, j-just forget I said anything about this!

*sighs* You know the guranteed way to get him to shut up? Tell him I'm on a date with someone and he'll either get depressed and shut up, and run off to find me. God, he's such an idiot...

... Um... Thank you?

Signed,

Romano

P.S. W-we're not an item... -/ / / /- D-don't tell him, but I'm thinking of maybe, possibly... g-goingonadatewithhim!**  
**

* * *

**Me: Dear God, Romano. It took Belarus threatening to kill him to get you to man up and grow a pair? I feel for Spain. I really do.  
**

**Romano: And you're any better?  
**

**Me: ... I'd say "go fuck yourself", but pretty soon you're gonna have Spain to help you with that. *evil grin*  
**

**Romano: O/ / /O I hate you. Review.  
**


	96. Italy VIII

**Yay, we're gonna have a roleplay letter forum thing~ *no clue on how to set it up or make it work* And yes, England is gonna get crap for that whole April Fool's thing. So much of it.  
**

**Disclaimer: Last time I checked, it was a no.  
**

* * *

I think I do! So what you said was sarcasm?

But why! If you just tried to you might become friends! Germany even said that he was willing to!

Going to keep hoping that you two become friends!,

Italy Veneziano

* * *

*facepalms* Yes, Feliciano. It was sarcasm.

Maybe I don't want to try being friends with that asshole? Ever think of that? And I don't care if he's willing to or not!

Also, next time you see him, be sure to tell him that I'm pissed as hell at him for touching you, and that he's extremely lucky to have all his body parts. So. Very. **Lucky. **

* * *

**Hey, as long as you torture Romano and not me, it's perfectly fine. *dodges tomato***


	97. Russia I

**Um... Sorry for not updating... I've been writing *cough* roleplaying *cough* a new fic with one of my friends on Gaia. It's a pirate story. That doesn't have Iggy or Spain as one of the main characters! *gasp* In fact, the pirate captain is Luddy, lol. How does that even work? But, yeah, tell me what you guys think of it when I finally get around to posting the first chapter.**

**Disclaimer: LOL. Who told you that?**

* * *

Dear Romano,

You will become one with Russia, da? I always wanted somewhere warm and Germany won't let me take your brother, but he never said anything about you!

Love, Russia

* * *

D-d-dear R-Russia,

I-I'm afraid I can't d-do that. B-Belarus would likely kill me, and f-frankly, you kinda sc-scare me...

B-but seriously, l-leave my brother alone, dammit!

Signed,

Romano

* * *

**... Fanfiction says that Russia is misspelled on here. And Romano gets over his fear just long enough to tell Russia to back off from Italy. **


	98. New York III

**Hopefully I'll be getting back on this thing more often. But, I think how much I have to do to catch up is really putting me off... Gah... So many... Letters...**

**Disclaimer: Nope.**

* * *

Writin' in again.

Glad ta hear the lil' guy's alright!

And naw, Enlish food's not great, but as long as you don't suck at cooking to begin with, it's not too horrible. Just really, really bland. Like, I'm not kiddin' dude. No flavor. At all.

An' the reason he thinks I'm dating a lake is 'cause there's a lake called Ontario just along my northern border. Guess it's also 'cause he can't remember Uncle Canada, let alone his kids...Should I not be dating my cousin? Or do ya think that with all the other freaky incest relations goin' on between countries, it really matters?

Now, this is awkward, but...Would you mind tellin' me the best way ta get blood stains out of carpets? There's like, this real big spot on the livin' room floor, and I don't want Ontario seein' it when she comes over.

Thanks, dude!

-T.J. (The State of New York)

* * *

Still won't try it, even if you paid me. Feliciano ate it once by mistake. He started _crying_. Freaking _crying._

I... Don't really think it matters. It's not like we're normal humans...

The easiest way would be to get a new carpet all together. But, if you can't afford that, you could try using this method. I've found it works pretty well, just be careful that it won't fade your carpet or anything. You're going to need a soft, clean cloth or paper towel, dish soap, toothbrush, and ammonia or hydrogen peroxide. If you use the ammonia, be sure to have the area well ventilated... Made that mistake before; wasn't pleasant. At all.

Anyway, I'm guessing that it's already dry, so put a little dish soap on top of the area of the stain and let it sit for a few minutes, then scrub it with the toothbrush. It should fade some, which'll make the next step easier. Then use a damp, clean cloth to scrub the dishsoap out of the carpet. Next, pour a small amount of ammonia or peroxide on the stain, and be sure to use only enough to cover the whole area of it. Allow that to soak for 5 to 10 minutes, then scrub it with another clean, damp cloth. You might need to repeat this a few times until it's gone.

Hope this helps,

Romano

P.S. Do I want to know how it got there or not?

* * *

** This is... The second time I've gven advice like this in Romano's letters. I hope I'm not giving you guys ideas on how to get away with murder... ^_^;;;**


	99. Seychelles I

**Here's pudgypanda as Seychelles. She finally made her anime debut (lol, late much?)**

**Disclaimer: Nope.**

* * *

Dear Romano,

Hi remember me?

You might not...I'm Seychelles, you know girl with pigtails? Always talking to France?

Anyways, I want to know if you and brother would like to come over one, you know for tea? Your brother has shipwrecked on one of my islands before so I know him pretty well, but I would also like to get to know you!

Best Regards,

Seychelles

P.S If you guys come over; should I cook pasta or pizza?

* * *

Dear Seychelles,

Aren't you the one he molested at World Academy before?

Yeah, I heard about that. And I guess it wouldn't hurt. But... wino bastard' not gonna be there, right?

Signed,

Romano

P.S. We like either of them, so choose whichever.

* * *

**Gah... I really have no clue what to do with all these girls writing in. Romano doesn't usually curse at them, so it's kinda hard to make it fell like it's him. *headdesks***


	100. Wisconsin II

**Disclaimer: Nope**

* * *

Romano,

Hey, Wisconsin again! I know I just wrote to ya a few days ago and all, but I was doing some research on something, an' I found something I thought you and your brother might like to hear about.

"Fabrizio Quattrocchi was an Italian security guard working in Iraq. In 2004, he was captured by terrorists who forced him to dig his own grave and kneel beside it wearing a hood as they prepared to film his death. He defied them by trying to pull off the hood and shouting: "I'll show you how an Italian dies!" right before he was shot."

It's weird... From the way Dad always talks, you and your brother would have been begging in a situation like that... Then again, Dad's got a bad habit of exaggerating, eh? Hahaha... Ehh, still... be proud 'a your people, Romano. Seems t'me they're a tough, brave bunch when they wanna be.

-Jackie Nicolet-Jones

aka, Wisconsin

* * *

Dear Wisconsin,

Yeah, we remember that... Goddammit... Feliciano wouldn't stop fucking crying...

And trust me, I am. It's hard not to be proud of your citizens, because you know how hard they try.

Signed,

Romano

* * *

**;_; This made me oh so very proud of being Italian. Not matter how small an amount it is.**


	101. Capital Rome I

**This is actually an OC that my friend Mionna created for the capital of Italy, which we all know is Rome. Thanks for writing in, Mi.**

**Disclaimer: No.**

* * *

Ciao Fratello!

I snuck this in with those letters you keep getting! There sure are a lot but I didn't read them this time! You threw tomatos at me last time I stole one.. Anyways, I've been bored at home and remembered a bunch of letters from people last time I visited. So I wanted to write one! It gets kinda boring just sitting at home or wondering around the city. I've seen everything here... Well unless boss has built something new... Sh- I probably need to check that, I don't THINK I've seen any construction...

-Lucilla

P.S. I havn't gotten my tomatos in yet!

* * *

Ciao Lucilla.

Gee, thanks... But, what the hell have I told you about going through my things?

And aren't they rebuilding your coliseum?

Lovino

P.S. It's too early in the year, dammit! They won't be ripe until summer time.

* * *

**Ah, short letter is short.**

**ahdhgsfghj-! We're past 100 chapters! *lights a firework and throws it at France* Fire in the hole~! xD**


	102. Charice II

**Ugh... So behiiiind. It's not even funny...**

**Disclaimer: No.**

* * *

Were you going to say something there, Lovi-chan?

Anyway, what's up with that curl on your head? Is it the same as Feli-chan's curl? I accidentally pulled it once and...I dunno, he ran to Germany. Is it the same as you? Now I'm curious...

Get over here, I wanna see this.

* * *

N-no, I wasn't!

... You did what? And no, I'm not going over there, dammit! You tried to mail me to your house!

* * *

**Short reply is short. Review!**


	103. Slovakia I

**Hey, we've got a new person writing in again!**

**Disclaimer: No.**

* * *

How is it going, South Italy?

The Potato Bastard still bugging you? If so, I can hit him for you. Even though me and him are 'allies' he can still be a bit of an annoying douche and I would love a reason to hit him.

Slovakia

* * *

Thing's are a mess over here... Damn anarchist groups...

And yes, he is. He's been hanging around Feliciano way too much, and it's annoying the hell out of me. So, go for it.

Signed,

Romano

* * *

**Review.**


	104. Rhode Island X

**Lili and RayRay as Rhode Island~ We really need to post some topic or other...**

**Disclaimer: Nope.**

* * *

Dear Romano,

Yep! And I think that they're the cutest little guys ever. I only have one that I consider my shark, and I call him Tiburon. The rest come and go as they please. I also have lots of harbor seals that hang on the rocks near my house, a big saltwater aquarium with local fish in the living room, and a lobster named Ned. Ned lives in a tank in my room (seperate from my other fish because he'll eat them), but he really seems to like swimming around in my bathtub when I need to clean his tank.

Ned loves me. He doesn't try to kill me when I pick him up. And while I like eating lobster, I'll never eat Ned. He's too adorable to eat! Seriously, how could someone eat something that cute? And I know that the extra legs and the eyes on stalks sorta freak some people out, but I find them endearing. I really like the local sea life, what can I say? Eheheh...

Well, that's enough of a rant about lobsters. Do you find it strange at all that I love them so much? My siblings think I'm a bit off in the head, but I know I'm not. I've just got my Rhody pride! And that will come in handy this summer, because I'm planning to get my boater's liscense and volunteer at Save the Bay, the local bay preservation and education center. I'll get to teach people about sea creatures all day long, and I'll get to drive boats around and do all these cool things like cataloguing different species and testing the pH balance in the water.

And if you visit over the summer, I'll show you around! There are loads of awesome lighthouses and islands to explore, and if you're really quiet you can hear people talking from the other side of the bay when you're on a certain one. There are some old barracks on that island too, which are awesome for ghost stories~ (And did you know that Rhode Island has the most vampire legends out of any state? Muahahaha!)

With Love and Hope,

Rachael Williams-Jones

The State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations

* * *

Dear Rachael,

Er... Just a little. I'm seriously starting to wonder what's with nations/states/whatevers and their weird pets.

I'll see if I can make it then. But vampires? Pfft... Ever take America there and play a prank on him? He'd probably be catatonic for a week or something.

Signed,

Romano

* * *

***shudders* I can never look at Vampires the same way ever since that horrible series came out. They don't fucking sparkle. They BURN.**


	105. England IV

**God... Late reply is soooo late. XP Sorry...**

**Disclaimer: No.**

* * *

Dear Romano,

No, I am not going to give you $600 because there is no way in hell that it was my cooking that did that! He probably accidently ate some of the frog's cooking or something.

Yes he did. I'm surprised he actually did that. Usually he just wears t-shirts and jeans. But he wants to drag me to a sports bar on April 14th to watch the final game of something called 'March Madness' whatever the bloody hell that is. (American are completely insane individuals)

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. I'll say it one last time: I'm not sending you $600!

* * *

Dear England,

Yeah right. If there's one thing that France the fuck face is good for, it's his food and that's it. Every time I mention your name, Giovanni runs and hides. It's annoying, cause he's run up a tree a few times and wouldn't come down.

I'll agree with you on that one. Don't get drunk and save some of your dignity.

Signed,

Romano

P.S. Seriously, don't drink anything. You can't hold your alcohol worth shit.

* * *

**Ah, Romano. So nice. Pfft! xD**


	106. OMG A CHAPTER!

**Uh... Long time no see, guys... ^_^;;; *hides behind a brick wall just in case people are angry with her* W-well, I'm back! Yay~! *met with dead silence* ... Anyway, this is NOT a chapt- *almost killed by a flying desk* er... This is an announcement that Romano's psychiatrist/anger management counselor has sent him on a little vacation and Peru's come in his place. Yep, Peru'll be replying to your letters, courtesy of Lili and RayRay. Thanks for agreeing to this! *flees***


	107. IT'S A CHAPTER! I'm serious

**Napaykullayki all! (Whoops, I probably spelled that wrong.) Lili and RayRay here, writing as Peru! Hope you're all enjoying the soon-to-be summer weather. Unless you're in the southern hemisphere, in which case... um... have fun playing in the snow. Also unless you're not in Vancouver, in which case, ENJOY THE WEATHER! :D**

**Anyway, a few words on Peru. He's one of Spain's former colonies, has a pet llama named Capac, and drinks even though his physical age is only 12. (I think now we know why he hasn't grown much... -.-) He likes cooking, hates Chile and Ecuador, and can have quite the attitude sometimes. There's also his sadistic side but let's hope we never see it here... O_O**

**Right! Well, uh... this was probably very unexpected but I hope you'll enjoy Peru's little segment with Romano's letters!**

* * *

**Switzerland**

Dear Romano,

I didn't get to send my chocolate... After I set it to harden I went to my shooting range, and when I got back it was gone. Apparently Lily had a craving and ate all of it. When I asked her where it was she broke down and blubbered on how she didn't mean to eat it all and she was sorry for an hour.

I honestly don't know how to deal with hormonal women.

So now I have to wait to make more chocolate, but I'm starting to rethink this plan. Do you have any suggestions (on both Roderich and Lily)?

Switzerland

**[Imagine a section break here, if you will. :3]**

Dear Senor Suiza...

Hi. As you may have noticed, this isn't Senor Romano anymore. I'm Peru, and somehow me and Senor Romano's evil therapists got together and arranged an exchange program between the two of us. So, um... yeah. _Enchanté de faire votre connaisance._

Um... wh-what's this about hormonal women? Never mind, I don't think I want to know. But, erm, maybe if you just told them what you were thinking, they would understand. Y-yes, I think that might work.

Maybe.

Anyway, um, have fun making chocolate, I guess.

Peru

* * *

**Luciie**

Dear Italy Romano,

G-good day, sir! I, uh, noticed you were giving out advice via letters, so I though maybe you could help out! Even if it's not really advice... more of a favor, if you will.

Have you ever met Mexico? W-well you see... I saw Mexico the other day (unknowingly), and he/she, because I honestly cannot tell his/her gender from so far away, kept glaring at me. When I say glare, I mean a serious, malice-filled glare. I'm not quite sure why!

The only reason I could think of why Mexico might dislike me is because of my ancestors once escaping across the border into America- but it was never really proved at all. But if it were, do you know why he/she would be angry at me for it? It's quite disturbing.

If you wouldn't mind, good sir, could you ask Spain to talk to... 'it' for me? If not, that's fine!

Ah.. on the other hand, I was thinking of perhaps visiting your end of the country sometime soon. Do you have any recommendations as to what I should see if I go there?

Thank you so much for your time!

- "Luciie"

**[SECTION BREAK :D]**

Hola Luciie,

It's not Senor Romano. Sorry. We did this exchange program, see, and now I'm at his house slurping pasta and reading his letters.

So, you saw Mexico, now did you? Well, I'm sure he's used to his people border-jumping by now, so maybe he was upset about something else? You weren't wearing a shirt with the US flag on it, were you?

If he's still upset, maybe I'll go have a talk with him. Sometimes my cousin does weird things.

Peru

* * *

**North Carolina**

Hi again, Romano

Hm.. I've always thought the actual nations I've met were a bit.. What's the word? I don't know. I can't think of it now, and I don't want to offend you or anything like that so.. But you can call me North Carolina or NC if you want..

Is that how it's pronounced? I don't trust translators, so I had no idea...

Really? Dad's always said you were twins, so I couldn't really know, sorry. SC's actually older than me.. In a way.. I mean.. Well, I signed the Declaration of Independence(Or, the Governor did.) and joined the Confederate States after.. Uh. I don't really know, it get's confusing after awhile. Sometimes it can be an inconvenience to be one of the original thirteen colonies.. Uh.. I'll try that. I'll also try to get that weird guy to stop calling me. People in this country don't always understand when you tell them they have the wrong number.

Anyway, thanks.

Charlotte Jones

The State of North Carolina

**[SECTION BREAK :D]**

Dear Senorita Charlotte,

I'm really tired of repeating that I'm here on an exchange program so let's get straight to the point. Hi. I'm Peru. Nice to meet you. So you're one of the blond jerk's states, eh? Well, I... I don't like your dad very much. He's noisy and annoying. But that doesn't mean I automatically hate you... I suppose. Who's this SC you're talking about? Is it an irritating sibling? I have just the thing for getting rid of irritating siblings, if you want to know... 8D

As for that weird guy, just yell a lot and cock your gun in the background and I'm sure he'll go away.

Peru

* * *

**Iowa**

Romano,

Well, if we're given the opportunity, we'll take it. That opportunity doesn't come around very often.

Hmm. I suppose so, but I guess I might as well get used to it. And...I've never seen your brother, so I don't know what to make of that.

Still, I'd rather have tomatoes that taste really good instead of just average ones. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Iowa

**[SECTION BREAK :D]**

Hola Iowa, it's Peru replying for the time being... if you want to talk to Senor Romano, he's somewhere in Lima at the moment. Or Cusco. Anyway, my point is that he's not here.

Um... what's this "opportunity", if I may ask?

Tomatoes came from my place, you know. Not to imitate Senor South Korea... it's true. Darn Spain. -_-

By the way, tell your dad I said hi. And that I still hate him. Thanks.

Peru

* * *

**Woot first chapter done! I'm on a roll! :D**


	108. Mass letter replies!

**Czech Republic**

Ciao Romano,

I don't know how i'm writing this while running away from Belize with one hand. Texting is easier. I just jumped out of the third-story window of a hospital. Sloavkia beat up really bad, Belize annoys the SHIT outta me, and he follows me. My left hand is broken, so I guess the jumping thing wasn't smart...or was it? I'm running to your place...crap, is that Slovakia? I hope you're doing better than I am. Cra-

...

...

I tripped over Belize. Now's he's poking me. If a beat up girl with a broken arm, and a guy who is annoying(but is my only friend really) comes to your door, that's us.

Chelsea Tater (Czech Republic)

P.S. I like pasta and tomatoes. How are you and goodbye. Ouch.

**[SECTION BREAK :D]**

Hola Senora Czech Republic,

Ooh, that sounds really painful. Are you okay? Why'd you leave the hospital if your hand is broken?

Uhhhh... I don't think now is a good time to come over... I mean, I haven't even bothered turning on the lights, except for this one by the desk... um... never mind, just come over if you have to.

Peru

P.S.: I think I understand why. I'm raiding Senor Romano's fridge right now. Hope your arm feels better soon...**  
**

* * *

**Korea**

안녕하세요 (Hello), Romano! Veneziano's brother, right?

A lot of nations are talking about your letters, so I wanted to write one to you too, da-ze! I never really got to know you because I end up talking to 형 (Big Brother) a lot during the meetings. (￣▽￣) I can tell that he enjoys being around me, da-ze...you know that he wants all of my attention.

Σ（ﾟдﾟlll）Have you been writing to Japan! Why! Well, whatever he wrote is a lie. A lie, da-ze!

아! (Ah!) Is it true that people send you stuff with the letters? That's great! I'll send you some 김치 (fermented Korean cabbage) ; it'll be a new experience for you. (´ε｀ ) Don't worry! It tastes good, da-ze! After all, goodness originated in me!

I'm gonna go play W.O.W, da-ze. Hmm...you should play sometime. I'm a pro, so you can learn some skills from me! ㅎㅎㅎㅎ (hehehe)...

See you at the next meeting! (＾ｰ^)ノ

대한민국 [(Republic of) Korea]

**[SECTION BREAK...]**

Hola Senor Korea,

I... no, well, _I_ haven't been writing to Japan... but anyway, welcome to letter-writing! I hope you'll find it beneficial in some way or other.

Eh... what's this? It looks kind of (I mean REALLY) spicy so m-maybe I'll just leave it for Senor Romano... y-yeah.

S-sure, but what's W.O.W.?

Right, see you,

Peru

**(Oh, Huayna, don't you know what World of Warcraft is? XD)  
**

* * *

**Denmark**

HI ITALIENSKE,

So I hear your giving out advice. So here I am. I asked my dear little Norge out and I need advice on where to take him.

I'm asking you because your supposed to be part if the country of romance or someting right? Anyway, I need you to help me make this date perfect so I can get him to give me my økse back. I mean you swing it at Rusland once and suddenly you're a danger.

When I tried to get it back he said he'd use it to chop my hands off and he'd feed them to me. Then he would reach down my throught pull out my tounge and strangle me with it...

ISN'T HE SO CHARMERENDE!

I must be in love~

Denmark

**[SECTION BREAK D: ]**

*winces* Hi. Who's this super-enthusiastic person?

Oh, it's you. Hola, Senor Denmark. Unfortunately, Senor Romano is away at the moment, so if you want his advice you'll have to send a letter to Lima.

What's a "økse"? Who's Rusland? Um... I - I think you might be better off avoiding this "Norge" person for a while. Those are the kind of threats _I_ use when I'm in a really bad mood...

N-no, I don't think he's "charmerende" at all. And yes, you'd definitely have to be in love not to notice how vicious he's sounding right now.

Peru**  
**

* * *

**Hungary**

helló, Hungary here

Well you see I have this problem with my ex-husband (I LEFT HIM NOT VICE VERSA). He is probably going to become Swisterland's anyways. Anyways my second problem is that people think I'm a stalker ): including Prussia. ANOTHER THING WHY ARE THERE 'PRUHUN' FANS I SO DON'T LIKE HIM NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS (ie Beligum,Seychelles...and Austria). I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH PRUSSIA.

-Hungary aka Elizaveta Hedarvery

PS: IF YOU SAY I'M IN LOVE WITH PRUSSIA MY FRYING PAN WILL FIND A VERY, VERY PAINFUL PLACE

**[This is ridiculous. I need a better SECTION BREAK.]**

Hola Senora Hungary,

Eh... PruHun? What's - oh. OH. Well, I suppose shipping a pairing and being involved in one are two entirely different things... maybe if you gave those fans a piece of your mind it would help...

P-please don't be so angry... you'll get a stroke and end up in the hospital... where France will molest you...

Peru

P.S.: Wh-why would your frying pan want to find a place to be in pain? D:

* * *

**I'm still thirsty. -.-**


	109. Mass letter replies 2!

**Manitoba**

Bonjour romano!

Yeah, I took your advice on France and let's just say he won't be coming to world conference meeting for another three months...

I told dad to stand up against America, but he just came back screaming 10 mins later. He used to be so scary during the war days . Like back in the American revolution , when he found out some colony Americans crossed our borders, he like kil- um let's just say America was VERY mad.

I am also in a bad mood right now. I feel that dad pays more attention to all my other siblings except me. He praises them more and such, and I don't think he even realizes if I skip a meeting. You've had this experience before right? Could you help ?

Peace out. Miguel Manitoba Williams

**[Lookie! I'm bringing out the magical disappearing sun again! If you select/highlight it with your cursor, it disappears! Have a try! :D]**

҉

Hola Senor Manitoba,

France again? He always seems to be causing problems, doesn't he?

Good on you for trying to get Senor Canada to man up! But maybe it would be better to take small, progressive steps?

America was mad? O_O

Well, if it helps your mood at all, _I_ think you're pretty nice! And at least you're known for your polar bears... right? Somehow I have a feeling I'm probably making you even more upset so I'll stop now...

Cheer up!,

Peru

* * *

**Stratford upon Avon**

Uhh...hello Romano San.

I am Stratford upon Avon, one of England's towns, and I was wondering if you would spare the time to talk to me?

I have been writing many nations, cities and provinces letters about me, and I'm gaining many new friends. But eulaliagal thinks I am devil spawn intent on breaking the fourth wall. I'm not.

So! Are you afraid of ghosts? I'm asking this now because I have the most haunted building in England in me.

So naturally the odd vengeant mother pops round for a chat. (a note for you: ghosts make excellent biscuits)

Ok! Byesy bye.

Lizzy / Stratford upon Avon

There is a picture of me on deviantart under cifer10's profile.

҉

Hola Stratford upon Avon,

It's great to see you're doing well! If you want to talk to Senor Romano, he's at my place right now, scaring the fat tourists with my rifle. We got roped into some sort of exchange program by our therapists, see...

Well, see you around - OUCH OH MY GOD HOLD ON! What the HELL was that chip made of? 'Kay, I need to go check the inside of my mouth now so talk to you later...

Peru

* * *

**Italy**

Oh, OK! Do you think they have lessons that teach you how to recognize it? I think I need to!

But why wouldn't you try once! If you do it once then I'll leave you alone about it! And if you do then maybe you might start liking him!

That wasn't his fault! The door hit me in the face! He was trying to help me!

҉

Hola Senor Feliciano,

Surprise! It's me. I'm at Senor Romano's house right now! I'd invite you over but I feel kinda lazy right now and besides that I accidentally ate something really hard and it left a wound in the roof of my mouth. Maybe tomorrow.

What door hit who in the face? What? Who was trying to help you? Um... mind refreshing my memory? Sorry. D:

Peru

* * *

**Belarus**

Прывітання,

Done. I broke France's leg. Nobody touches my brother but ME.

As for the other two, I've decided to stop hanging out with them, and that idiot America. Brother is so good at hiding his jealousy you'd think he wasn't jealous at all, so I'm going to start following him again.

I've noticed brother has started to write to you. Please ask him why HE WONT LET ME BECOME ONE WITH HIM? BROTHER, I LOVE YOU, LET'S BECOME ONE. WHY WONT YOU BECOME ONE WITH ME? WHY DO YOU ALWAYS RUN AWAY? YOU DON'T HAVE TO STAY IN DENIAL ANY MORE, I KNOW YOUR FEELINGS FOR ME AND I FEEL THE SAME WAY! I SWEAR ROMANO IF YOU EVER BECOME ONE WITH MY BROTHER YOU WILL SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES! I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN BECOME ONE WITH BROTHER. BROTHER, I LOVE YOU!

...Ahem..

As for YOU... You will propose to your love or I'll break your face.

Рэспубліка Беларусь.

҉

H-hi S-S-Senora Belarus...

Um... h-how are you? A-any luck getting closer to y-your brother? I, er... I'll ask him for you, s-sure... just... please don't be so emotional, it scares me...DX

I... what? No, wait, I don't have a love! I hope you're not directing that at _me_... but I'll be sure to pass on the message to Senor Romano, yes! D:

Signed,

P-Peru

* * *

**Stupid potato chip. Who knew they could be so sharp and aggressive?**


	110. Spain 7

Lovinito,

Awwww~ Thank you for bailing me out of jail, mi querido~ It was very yucky in there.

We didn't mean to go to jail, honest~

Sí, Ita-chan told me lots of things~ But it's okay, Lovi, I'll be sure to be gentle and go slow. Your first time with me will be the best sex you've ever had!

I'm coming over right now to claim that Italian ass~

España.

҉

Oh, it's you, Spain. Sorry to say this, but Senor Romano went to my place on an exchange program. What'd you get in jail for anyway? And why are you talking about... about-

...

. . .

. . .

U-um... what? Is this the sort of thing you and Senor Romano talk about when you're alo-

O_O

S-SPAIN? No, y-you can't - he's not here - wh-what do you mean, "claim that Italian ass" - Shit, I better start turning on some lights! O_O


	111. Mass letter replies 3!

**Massachusetts**

To Lovino:

Figured that eventually I'd find out who my silbings are writing to. [/grins]

Anyway, in case you didn't know, the name's Mara. Formally known as the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, but I prefer Mara all the same.

So how's it going over in Europe? Italy's in Europe right? Because I known that some countries are kinda in both Europe & Asia... Normally I'd grab a map and figure this out, but naturally, all of America's are only of America.

...

That and my geography sucks.

Heh. I blame it on Dad.

Shoot, gotta dash. Tell your brother I said hello!

Love, Mara A. Jones ;)

҉

Hola Senora Massachusetts,

Yes, Italy is in Europe. _All_ of it is, I mean. But guess where Peru is! :D

Technically, Peru is in Italy at the moment, though.

Dad? Oh, right, you're another one of that blond jerk's kids. Well, I don't have anything against you as of yet so... hi. Here, have some pasta I randomly found in Senor Romano's fridge. It's kind of hard trying to find anything else in here anyways. Bon appetit!

Peru

P.S.: If Spain said he's coming over to claim Senor Romano's, er, "Italian ass", should I be afraid? I'm at his house right now, it's really dark and somehow I feel like I'm trapped in a horror movie...

* * *

**California**

Dear Romano,

Sir Awesome Prussia mentioned that you were doing this,

so i thought that it would be cool to write you, also~

Ok, you'll probably be baised on this but...Are tomatoes good? I've never had one...But i have had corn! I grow my own food! 'Cuz i live on a farm~ Oh, *grins* i have a video of Hungary attacking Russia, want one? It's free~

Signed,

Cassandara 'Cali' Jones

The Golden State California

Ps. Call me Cassandara or Goldie and i will attack you*growls*

Pps. Bye!

҉

Dear Senor California,

Senor Romano is out at the moment. However, I'm sure he finds tomatoes very delicious, since he's always eating them. By the way, don't listen to Spain. They came from my place. =_=

I kind of wanna see that video, is that offer still valid?

Peru

P.S.: But why? It sounds like you're provoking him on purpose... hmm.

P.P.S.: Um... sure. Here, have a tomato since you've never had one - wait, not even in your burgers? D:

* * *

**Russia **

Dear Romano,

Hmm... well, Belarus didn't kill anyone else in the Soviet Union, so you probably wouldn't get killed... of course back then she was a part of me too... then she got even creepier though so maybe... well even so, I think you should become one with me, da? Then I could go visit you, do you grow any sunflowers where you live? How am I scary? Kolkolkol...

I would ignore you, but I don't need Germany yelling at me, he's really annoying. But your yelling is very cute, I noticed when you yelled at Spain at the World Meeting.

Love,

Russia

҉

Dear Senor Russia,

Belarus what? Um... n-no, I don't think you'd be able to become one with me... I live all the way across the ocean... uh... sh-should I just forward this to Senor Romano? I think I'll do that now. Y-yeah.

And I'll let him know you think he's cute. Yes. D:

Peru

* * *

Dear Romano,

I suppose you could call it molesting...for it was not-wanted...

Yay! Most people don't visit very often, Captain Eyebrows(England) doesn't come at all, and I visit everyone else...Papa comes at random times, so I don't really know...and he's not a bastard!

Good Day,

Seychelles

P.S Alright~ I will add fish to both of the dishes~ for culture...you know.

҉

Hola Senora Seychelles,

As you can see, Senor Romano isn't here. He went on an exchange program to my place, and I came to his. You can blame our therapists for that...

Molesting? I bet we're talking about France again, aren't we. -.-

Peru

* * *

**Why do I feel sleepy all of a sudden...**

**Peru: I WANT CARLOS THE ALPACA! GIMME CARLOS YOU DAMN [censored]! D8**

**Yeesh, what a noisy kid... =_=**


	112. Mass letter replies 4!

**Illinois**

Dear Italy Romano,

Hello there! I see you've been writing letters, so I figured why not try to talk?

... Although I'm really sorry you had to deal with father and all his insanity.

Actually, I think I may have seen you at one time in Chicago, back in the 1920's? I remember a distinct dark curl jutting out from under a worn out pinstripe fedora... unless, of course, that was someone else.

Actually, I have a question...

How do you make pizza?

Sincerely,

Illinois

P.S. Don't kill me... I love my country, but I'm pretty sure half of the stuff made or sold from here is definitely not authentic. I'd rather hear from the expert, if you don't mind.

**҉**

Hello, what's this? It's another of the blond jerk's states... well, hi. I came to Senor Romano's place on an exchange and so I started answering his letters too~! (It's probably been ages since you sent this. Senor Romano has been a lazy, lazy man. Tsk tsk.) As for the pizza, you can ask Senor Feliciano about that! Because I have no idea either. :D

Peru

* * *

**England**

Dear Romano,

Humph, I suppose there are some things that the frog cooks that taste good, but I know mine is much better. Also there is no way a cat can associate my scones with my name.

I can hold my liquor better than anyone! Well, except Russia most probably but I'm not stupid enough to try. Alfred might try it though.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. um…By the way I heard from Germany what happened to you and your brother on April Fool's Day so I wanted to apologize. That blasted pixie tricked me! She said it was a spell to stop that frog from being such a pervert!

҉

Hi,

You European countries sure talk about weird things, you know? Frogs that cook and cats and scones? I don't get any of this...

About the liquor... you're the one who goes berserk when he's drunk, aren't you? D:

Peru

P.S.: Wait, what happened?

* * *

**Charice (is it? I hope it is... sorry D: )**

Awwwwww, come on...pleeeasssee?

*starts reaching out for the curl herself, even going so far as using chopsticks*

OK, fine...if you're not coming here, then I'm coming to you~ :D

*straps on roller skates and starts chasing him around cackling like a maniac*

҉

Hi... um... W-well, you, uh... you have fun with that. Just - don't break anything...

Peru

* * *

**Rhode Island (No, but _I_ am! I'll apologize for the confusion in Yuri n' Chuka's place, though.)**

Dear Romano,

I know...but, I mean, our odd pets help us express our identity as different states. Haven't you ever kept something that people thought was weird? At least I take proper care of mine. I'm always having to keep Dad from feeding hamburgers to that whale of his that follows him around...

Ohoho, what a brilliant idea! I think I've got an old outfit from the Victorian Era to put on, and I can buy fake fangs at a costume store... and fake blood is really easy to make...

Oh yes, I'll scare him shitless.

Now please excuse me while I go and laugh maniacally.

With Love and Hope,

Rachael Williams-Jones

The State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations

҉

Hola Senora Rhode Island,

Sorry, Senor Romano is out at the moment. But what's this? America has a whale? And he feeds it - wow, it's not gonna live very long if he does that...

Scare who? Do you mean America? If you do, be sure to tape the whole thing and post it on the Internet! :D

Sincerely,

Peru


	113. Mass letter replies 5!

**Ohio**

Hey Romano,

Hey im one of the states under Arthur sadly. I have a question how do you deal with complete fools (My neighbors). There all loud and annoying and i want to shoot them but if i do i wouldnt last in jail. Im to small and fragile x.x

Please write back,

Ohio (aka Dante)

P.S. I know you like pasta but instead i sent you some pizza. I like to be orginal.

**[This section break is missing because I got distracted (read: Stunned) by Deathnote Popipo.]**

Hello Ohio,

I'm sure you know what's going on by now... Senor Romano's at my place, I'm at his, evil therapists I'm going to push off a cliff when this is done and over with, . Now, about your neighbors, you'll want to annoy them back. Put whoopee cushions on their chairs or something. If it comes down to it, you can resort to writing yaoi fanfics involving them... not recommended in case your mind breaks halfway through.

You could always shoot them with a really powerful water pistol. :D

Peru

P.S.: It's been a really long time since you sent it... let's just say there's mysterious green stuff where the sauce was supposed to go. But I thank you for the gesture (in Senor Romano's place)!

* * *

**Lucilla? D:**

Wow really? Huh... Maybe I haven't been around the city as much as I thought. Although I haven't been over there in a while eather. I've been there how many times?

Any ways, I know you've told me not to go through them and I haven't! I just saw them piled on your desk when I hid that bug in your desk drawer... Wait I probably shouldn't have told you that seeing as you havn't gotten onto me about it yet.

Just ignore that last part!

-Lucilla

**[Now it's Deathnote Ievan Polkka.]**

Hi, you've reached Senor Romano's answering machine. Please leave a message after the tone. :D

Just kidding, it's Peru. You hid a bug in Senor Romano's desk drawer? I'm glad I haven't opened it yet. But what did you see piled on his desk? Because whatever it is, he seems to have cleared it away.

About what? D:

Peru**  
**

* * *

**New York**

Yo!

Thanks for the info,dude!

Oh, and MY pizza is totally the best. Don't listen ta New Jersey.

And tell her ta stop complainin' about gettin' stereotyped! I get that crap just as much! Did you know a lot of U.S. citizens think that my capitol is New York City (It's Albany, by the way)and that everyone from New York is either from that city or lives near it? Ridiculous!

And uh, as for the stain...Lets just say that you aren't the only one who's bothered by organized crime groups... Not that all New Yorkers are like that! Most of them are perfectly decent, really! Just...It's not really a good idea ta be walkin' around large cities late at night on your own...But, y'know, it's like that all over the world, right? *shrugs*

Anyway, try ta get back ta me as soon as ya can, 'kay? I realize you're probably busy and I'm just a state an' all, but...

Well, 'till next time!

-T.J. (The State of New York)

**[Now it's Popipo vs Angry German Kid (a.k.a. Germangryloid's debut XD).]**

Hola Senor New York,

This is Peru speaking/writing. Senor Romano's away at my place. Sorry for any inconvenience!

Well, that sucks. I don't know much about American geography but Brazil sometimes gets mistaken for a Spanish-speaker... if that makes you feel any better.

...Stain? Wait, never mind, I don't want to know. O_O

Peru

* * *

**Wisconsin**

Hey, Romano, Jackie again!

Ya got any idea how I could go about gettin' in touch with Moscow? I need to get someone to tell General Winter to cool his jets! ...Figuratively speakin', that is. I mean, I know I'm pretty far up nort' here, but snow in May's just too much! I'm not one o' Uncle Matthew's kids, gosh darn it! If he don't cut it out soon, the crops're gonna have to go in late, which means less feed for the cows, which means worse milk, which means worse cheese! And that right there's just a disaster in the makin'!

Anywho, yeah, get back ta' me if ya get a chance! Later, gator!

-Jaqueline Nicolet-Jones

aka, Wisconsin

**[Must follow trend by not putting the proper section break here either.]**

Hello Senora Wisconsin,

Well, I'm pretty close right now, so I suppose I could pass on the message for you. Just let me load up my gun and strap on all my armor before I venture into Russian territory...

Peru

P.S.: I wouldn't bet on anything happening. General Winter'll probably blame global warming or something.

**(And as a Canadian, I must say I find this coldness thing really overplayed - remember how we almost had to resort to artificial snow for our Olympics? Then again, I live on the west coast where El Nino/La Nina are in effect, so... sorry, Prairie People and all those lame eastern provinces we keep sending revenue to. :P)**

**[[_This's Yuri n' Chuka speaking and I just have to say, I am not Canadian. That's RayRay up there. *points* Just clearing that bit up._]]**


	114. Mass letter replies 6!

**Last chapter writing in as Peru! I know people barely had time to respond accordingly, but things just aren't working out so well...**

* * *

**North Carolina**

Oh. Hi Peru! I didn't know you were answering, sorry. Don't worry, I get that a lot. Sometimes my cousins at uncle Mattie's house complain too.

South Carolina. He's my irritating twin. I'd love to fix my problem with him.

NC

۞

Dear North Carolina,

No worries. I think you deserve an apology too, for this confusion we've caused. Senor Romano will be returning soon, though, so you might as well address the next letter to him. By the way, if you see a fat waddly Hispanic man with round glasses and an ugly comb-over, please shoot him for me. He's my therapist.

Peru

* * *

**Denmark**

Oh! Hej Paru!

The letter was sent a while ago, I got advice from The Country of Creepy. (aka France) So it's not a pressing issue.

An øsk is Dainish for ax and Rusland is Dainish for Russia. Don't worry about sweet, little Norge. (Dainish and Norwegin for Norway) He's given me worse threats, we were even married for a little while. He's mostly talk, although he seems to injoy chocking me with my tie...

But that might just be a kink of his or something.

NORGE (Norway) IS SO CHARMING!

The King Of Scandinavia,

Denmark

۞

Dear Senor Denmark,

Well, good to hear you got some advice, even if it was from France. He molests people, but you already know that, right?

A... kink? But isn't choking people kind of... dangerous? D:

Oh well, I'm sure I'll find out from someone eventually! Maybe someone back home will tell me. (Yes, I'm going home soon, isn't that great to hear?) Good luck with Senor Norway and... uh... maybe it wouldn't hurt as much if you stopped wearing ties around him...

Take care,

Peru

* * *

**Italy**

Ciao Huayna!

I know! Fratello just told me about it! But si! Maybe I can see you tomorrow!

Oh, Ludwig accidently hit me in the face when he opened a door! And fratello thought he was kissing me when he was going to give me CPR!

Hoping your mouth feels better!,

Italy Veneziano

۞

Hola Senor Feliciano,

That must've been one hell of a collision! You do seem like you're all better now, though, so that's good. But what's wrong with kissing? Unless one of you has mono, I mean.

Luckily, the cut went away after a while. But thanks for the concern! By the way, I'm going home soon, so Senor Romano will be back too! :D

Signed,

Huayna

* * *

**England**

Dear Peru,

Nevermind. You really don't want to know. All it shows is how ungrateful people are about my cooking skills.

I DO NOT GO BERSERK! Who the bloody hell told you that?

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. um…well…I was trying to curse that bloody frog and I accidently switched Italy's and Romano's personalities for the day.

۞

Dear Senor England,

But that's not... er, never mind.

Well, some random person told me, and showed me a video of you being drunk, so... I don't really believe you, sorry. D:

Peru

P.S.: Ah, maybe you should consult someone about your spells. My cousin Mexico knows magic, maybe you can ask him!

* * *

**California**

Dear Peru,

I'm not intentionally provoking him, i don't like Cassandara because its to..female, and my brothers call me Goldie to tease me. I go by Calvin, but sister said i should sign my letters correctly, or at least the first one.

Alright! Spain is wrong, tomatoes come from Peru!

Sure! I forget why she attacked him but she got him good~ I should think 'bout carring a frying pan..hmm..

Nope! I only have cheese on my burgers! Otherwise you can't taste the meat as much!

Thanks!

Calvin~

Ps. it was ok, i like corn better still though.

۞

Dear Senora... Calvin (?),

Well, you might have to introduce yourself again really soon, because I'm going home in a couple of days, which means Senor Romano is coming back. I'm sure you'll enjoy talking to him, though!

But frying pans are supposed to be used for cooking! Sacrilege! D:

Oh... I see... but don't you eat vegetables at all? Burgers aren't exactly great for your health...

Peru

P.S.: I like corn too. And yams!

P.P.S.: This annoying Hetalia fan I'm forced to affiliate myself with says be sure to say hi to her friend if you see him. He's going to Berkeley. A tall string-bean sort of guy with glasses. On second thought, I just described about half of all the Asian guys out there so never mind.

* * *

**Russia**

Dear... Peru?

Huh... I was sure I sent this to Romano... oh well! Don't worry, I will become one with you too! Trust me, distance and ocean will be no problem for me... kolkolkol... but da, forward my message to Romano.

And da, thank you for telling him! You are very helpful da? I would like a helpful nation like you at my house with me!

Love,

Russia

۞

D-d-dear Senor R-Russia,

Um, actually, I-I'd really rather not... b-but thanks for the offer... m-maybe you'd like to have Chile instead? I'll e-even gift-wrap him for y-you...

Peru

* * *

**Manitoba**

Merci mr Romano!

Yes, dad was scary and America was pissed as hell. Ivan sat on dad again during meetings so his self esteem just dropped. I'm right now watching Homs o he doesn't suicide or something...

Sorry for bringing that up! Anyway, I'm trying to learn self defense since I'm terrible at it. No good teachers so far. They just give me weird suggestions. For example, reading hard yaoi to them until their min bleeds. I bet u can guess who that was... Can you be my teacher? By the way, I have te worst athlete ability in the world. And I'm not exaggerating

Peace out

Miguel Manitoba Williams

۞

Hola Senor Manitoba,

If you want to learn self-defense, I suggest you take karate lessons from Japan. And if you happen to have some of that "hard yaoi" that last person suggested, you could give that to him in exchange.

Alternatively, you could arrange to live with an annoying sibling who bullies you all the time... trust me, you'll learn how to counterattack in no time at all. -_-

Good luck,

Peru

P.S.: Senor Romano's coming back soon so just address the next letter to him.

* * *

**Iowa**

Peru,

Well, that's fine, if he's unavailable.

I meant the opportunity for states to speak to countries.

Hmm, really? I didn't know that. Then again, being stuck in the middle of America's house leaves me with very little knowledge of the world, so I don't know a lot of things.

I shall try to, though he tends to forget I exist.

Sincerely,

Iowa

۞

Dear Iowa,

He's coming back in a few days, if you want to speak to him instead.

Don't worry about it. I've given up on telling people. Spain can have his false credit and eat it, too, for all I care.

Forgetting you exist... Tsk, shame on him. But maybe he has memory problems, since you're not the _only_ one he forgets... there was that guy with the bear and the goggles, right? Or maybe it was just my imagination...

Peru

* * *

**Spain but not the original one (I'm going to assume you got permission from MsKasuten...)**

Peru,

Damn asshole. Why the hell would I let you know that sorta information?

Anyway~

I do plan on claiming mi culo Italiano~ it's so round and cute and Ohhh~ I love it~. Ahem...a-anyway...

I'm off to find Romano, okay~? If you so much as ruin his handsome home, I will make your life such hell you'll be crying for su Mamá for the rest of your life~. Kay? kay~

España

۞

Spain,

»_»

...Huh.

»_»

Well, okay, you decrepit old man, you go and do that while I investigate what happens if I microwave the TV remote.

Peru

**(...You know what? I've finally had it. And I. Am. Drawing the line. RIGHT HERE. I hope you're proud of yourself.)**

* * *

**Rome**

Peru? Oh! I was wondering why Fratello wasn't awnsering... But weren't you one of Fratello Spain's (many) colonies? I can't remember really, he had so many.

Anyways, I'm Rome by the way, come by if you'd like while you're here! I don't mind, it's just me and my prissy cat for the most part.

-Lucilla (Rome)

P.S. I came over earlier and the lights were out, are you sitting in the dark?

۞

Dear Rome,

Yes, that's me. But don't worry about it; hardly anyone remembers me for anything besides Macchu Picchu and llamas anyway. -_-

I think I'll take up on that offer and go visit you before I leave. Which is very soon, so hopefully you're free sometime within the next few days...

Peru

P.S.: Well, yes, but not anymore.

**("Lucilla"... as Rome... and that profile pic... hey, I think I know you from somewhere. o_o**_ You do, RayRay._**)**

* * *

**Well, that's it for Lili and RayRay's invasion of Yuri n' Chuka's story. Have a good day, everyone, and thanks to those who replied! Bye-bye~! ^w^**


End file.
